Porch Pirate Learns The Hard Way Not To
Steal When A Marine Riggs His Amazon Package
To Serve Him Instant Justice – The Robber
Soiled Himself
Defiant America,
by
Mack Cogburn
Original Article
Posted By: Black Conservative Voice,
5/19/2022 9:39:02 AM
Criminals getting blown up by retired Marines is just hilarious as heck.
Who better to deal out such righteous justice than a United States Marine, who has had more than enough of people stealing his packages from his porch. I’m not saying he handled the situation in the most legal fashion, nor will I say this is the best way to deal with porch thieves. However, I will say that I’m glad he went about it the way he did because it’s hilarious.
I get my daughter’s medicine thru the mail. It is lifesaving for her, useless for others. So morons like this one can steal that and make complications!
43 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
Safari Man 5/19/2022 9:50:35 AM (No. 1159903)
Hate to be a party pooper, but this sure looks scripted to me. If you soil yourself, do you really need to scratch and sniff to be sure? Phaque.
19 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
zoidberg 5/19/2022 9:57:19 AM (No. 1159911)
Crowder showed this yesterday. Hilarious!
11 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
Starlifter Nav 5/19/2022 9:58:21 AM (No. 1159912)
IDK about scripted... but it was funny, for sure.
18 people like this.
That’s great but I remember from my first law class that it leaves the homeowner open to civil and legal action. Let’s hope the thief is too stupid to know that.
20 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
earlybird 5/19/2022 10:12:12 AM (No. 1159926)
Terrific. No one shot him. The package did it. And he was breaking the law. Perfect
30 people like this.
#6 I agree with you, but I'm afraid that the marine could get into some legal troubles because of the explosive, in any case nice move :)
16 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
ussjimmycarter 5/19/2022 10:53:29 AM (No. 1159973)
Still laughing!
24 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
wilarrbie 5/19/2022 10:59:08 AM (No. 1159981)
Legal trouble? That was Justice in its purest form. However - if so, please put me on the jury.
40 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
PostAway 5/19/2022 11:05:30 AM (No. 1159988)
#7, you’re probably right but when I consider how the case would be framed I have to think a judge would throw it out as being too silly. After all, judges have reputations to maintain, too. The jokes write themselves.
14 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
Roscoelewis 5/19/2022 11:08:38 AM (No. 1159991)
...like a chimp, throwing his poop.
20 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
bgarrett 5/19/2022 11:32:39 AM (No. 1160010)
was anyone able to understand what they were saying?
16 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
EJKrausJr 5/19/2022 11:40:51 AM (No. 1160015)
The porch pirate picked the SHTF package. Will he learn? Doubt it.
8 people like this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
lakerman1 5/19/2022 11:55:45 AM (No. 1160036)
This video made my week!
I know I can't create a 'set gun' under the law (rigging a gin to automatically shoot the person who climbs through my window, for example) but I would hope a 'flash bang' set up would be legal, especially at a time when porch pirates are abundant.
10 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
DVC 5/19/2022 11:59:12 AM (No. 1160040)
Doesn't happen around here, fortunately.
8 people like this.
Reply 16 - Posted by:
Flyball Dogs 5/19/2022 12:06:35 PM (No. 1160048)
I’m with #2. Looks a bit scripted. Why did the guy hang around? Why didn’t he bolt?
Oh well. Maybe it’s a lesson to some.
(Note the language between them.)
9 people like this.
Reply 17 - Posted by:
RayLRiv 5/19/2022 1:03:51 PM (No. 1160104)
I'm sorry but HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
12 people like this.
Reply 18 - Posted by:
GirlwithaCurl 5/19/2022 1:16:06 PM (No. 1160110)
When people believe that the items on your porch are public property they deserve what they get when they steal your property. Keep putting out those packages, boys!
10 people like this.
Reply 19 - Posted by:
LeeBertie 5/19/2022 1:27:17 PM (No. 1160116)
No legal consequences here. BOTH the victim/perp on the porch and the victim/perp in the house are members of the same protected class.
9 people like this.
Reply 20 - Posted by:
Zeek Wolfe 5/19/2022 1:31:29 PM (No. 1160118)
If that happened in Los Angeles county the District Attorney George Gascon would indict the homeowner.
5 people like this.
Reply 21 - Posted by:
hershey 5/19/2022 1:35:05 PM (No. 1160124)
I still think the best one was the package that didn't blow up until the perp had it in his car and then it exploded with a load of doggie poo inside...
11 people like this.
Reply 22 - Posted by:
Kazzowee 5/19/2022 1:56:18 PM (No. 1160141)
That was satisfying. LOL
6 people like this.
Reply 23 - Posted by:
Nexus-1 5/19/2022 4:23:46 PM (No. 1160217)
Like a monkey, reaches down and smells his hand-filled dookie.
2 people like this.
Reply 24 - Posted by:
SpentPenny 5/19/2022 4:27:34 PM (No. 1160222)
#2 : Doesn't look staged to me. Looks like the monkey house at the zoo.
2 people like this.
Reply 25 - Posted by:
Hugh Akston 5/19/2022 5:14:50 PM (No. 1160250)
@#12 - I understood every succinct, truthful word, though we can't use those words here, and most of us are not of the race that is allowed to use the term spoken to accurately describe the porch pirate.
3 people like this.
Reply 26 - Posted by:
Hazymac 5/19/2022 5:33:40 PM (No. 1160267)
The porch pirate should go wash his underwear and be glad that the U.S. Marine he ripped off didn't pack a Claymore into that Amazon package. ("But, that would be wrong."
That said, remember 1974's parody of 1973's Enter the Dragon (Bruce Lee), Kentucky Fried Movie. Evan Kim (later to be in the last Dirty Harry movie) was "Bruce Lee" in the KFM spoof. He had broken into Dr. Khan's evil paradise and knew he was being recorded after revealing his intentions when he pulled down a microphone in his room and intoned, "But, that would be wrong." At least he didn't get blown up or shredded by his purloined Amazon package.
0 people like this.
Reply 27 - Posted by:
BigGeorgeTX 5/19/2022 5:35:37 PM (No. 1160269)
FTA "The main question remains why did this moron decide to smell his feces?"
Apparently, they've never been to the primate house at the zoo.
1 person likes this.
Reply 28 - Posted by:
WhamDBambam 5/19/2022 6:16:58 PM (No. 1160308)
If only there were some way to do this to Congress…
3 people like this.
Reply 29 - Posted by:
MindMadeUp 5/19/2022 6:56:45 PM (No. 1160333)
Yeah, the law is pretty settled on this sort of thing: You can't set traps that harm people, even on your own property. But, unless the explosives burned the thief, the only harm came when he fell down and then only if he actually hurt himself in the fall. Not sure if that would count as being caused by the trap. I think we all agree, though, that, aside from the legal exposure of the Marine, It was a wonderful thing.
2 people like this.
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Comments:
The boy flew like those old-school mighty Morphin power ranger fights after they got hit. That should teach people a lesson, not to take things that don’t belong to them. It could’ve been someone’s medications or something.