Knucklehead Of The Week: New Automobile
By Apple Unveiled, But It’s Missing
One Small Detail
The Blue State Conservative,
by
P.F. Whalen
Original Article
Posted By: Lets Go Brandon,
5/21/2022 7:21:07 AM
When it comes to innovation from a global perspective, the ideas and products from America’s Silicon Valley are second to none. And when we consider which of those Big Tech companies has been the boldest, it’s difficult to argue against Apple. From producing the very first home computer known as the Macintosh, to its iPods and iPhones, to the Apple Watch, there is no doubt Apple Inc. has been on the cutting edge of technological development for the better part of four decades. But their latest venture into electric vehicle manufacturing has just hit a major pothole.
Reply 1 - Posted by:
WhamDBambam 5/21/2022 7:37:52 AM (No. 1161671)
Emblematic of big tech, "Trust us, you don't need to see where you're going."
15 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
franq 5/21/2022 8:02:28 AM (No. 1161690)
Scale it down, add a wire, and it would make a fine computer mouse.
17 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
slsusnr 5/21/2022 8:18:17 AM (No. 1161705)
#2 nailed it. The thing looks like a wireless mouse. It would inevitably be nicknamed "mouse." How is that going to work in a car culture of Mustangs, Cougars, Jaguars, Tigers, Eagles, Vipers, and more? Even my quite normal and ordinary manhood would make me embarrassed to buy a car nicknamed "the mouse."
14 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
Hazymac 5/21/2022 9:04:03 AM (No. 1161744)
Apple's substitution of virtual reality for car windows means that the passengers will be sitting inside a windowless box reading computer screens. Why would one want to do that? No windows reminds me of Maggie's Pa: "Well, he puts his cigar out in your face just for kicks / His bedroom window it is made out of bricks." Maybe the ultimate answer after everything goes to socialist Green Hell is to return to the livery stable and to horseback. Humanity couldn't handle modernity and underwent auto-extinction. Maybe literally.
9 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
Troutgreen 5/21/2022 9:35:24 AM (No. 1161769)
Big Brother has decided that if we won't stay hidden away inside our homes wearing 2 or 3 diapers over our noses, well by God, they will make us invisible to each other as we drive around in battery powered surveillance units and collect data on every move we make. Think I'll walk.
8 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
Wetenschapper 5/21/2022 9:37:45 AM (No. 1161772)
If the design of the car faithfully follows the design elements of their previous computers and phones, the vehicle will be restricted to travel on roads built or approved by Apple, must use electricity available only at official factory-authorized stations that have the special Apple plugs, and the octagonal wheels will require proprietary tires made only by the manufacturer. The hood will be sealed with a large "warranty void if seal is broken" sticker; there will be no operator's manual in the glovebox because, they claim, "it just works",
10 people like this.
Reply 7 - Posted by:
Highlander 5/21/2022 9:42:54 AM (No. 1161784)
Where to put the groceries?
5 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
Ribicon 5/21/2022 10:06:44 AM (No. 1161820)
The Macintosh was not Apple's first computer, and this article shows that the writer cannot read. Companies patent a lot of things, but this one (following the links) describes not a windowless car, but a VR entertainment system that integrates virtual reality with the motion of the car, in order to reduce motion sickness, or amuse children bored on long road trips, or provide a way to make it easier to read while the car is moving.
3 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
cheeflo 5/21/2022 11:17:05 AM (No. 1161914)
For all the talk of driverless cars, I don’t believe they will become dominant if they become a thing at all. People like to drive their cars. If they wanted to be a passenger all the time they wouldn’t even own a car ... they’d call a cab or take the bus.
6 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
DVC 5/21/2022 11:44:25 AM (No. 1161942)
I'll never have an electric vehicle. I even have a gasoline golf cart.
6 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
DVC 5/21/2022 12:56:03 PM (No. 1162007)
The first Apple computer that sold a lot was the Apple II. My sister had one, and I used it to play some early video for a few days in the 1981 time frame. Mac was much later.
4 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
DrOstrow 5/21/2022 1:09:24 PM (No. 1162017)
Another high tech 'solution' in search of a non existent problem.
4 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
red1066 5/21/2022 1:13:35 PM (No. 1162023)
No windows. I guess the point is to eliminate the panic of the passengers during a head on crash. If they can't see the accident about to happen, they'll feel safe.
3 people like this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
Wetenschapper 5/21/2022 1:37:51 PM (No. 1162054)
Perhaps previous poster inadvertently hit on something there. Apple doesn't allow 'Windows' of any sort on their products.
6 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
MindMadeUp 5/21/2022 1:56:27 PM (No. 1162068)
Call it the "kidnapper special". Ideal for making sure nobody inside really knows where they are going.
2 people like this.
Reply 16 - Posted by:
cycloneman 5/21/2022 2:29:08 PM (No. 1162102)
Apple is a progressive company. They do not want passengers to see the results of Biden's America. That helps to control the narrative.
3 people like this.
Reply 17 - Posted by:
smokincol 5/21/2022 3:24:36 PM (No. 1162145)
" ... New Automobile By Apple Unveiled, But It’s Missing One Small Detail" - what??? wheels???
1 person likes this.
Reply 18 - Posted by:
ladydawgfan 5/21/2022 4:12:58 PM (No. 1162175)
How can this be street legal?? You can get pulled over and ticketed for having tint that is too dark!!
1 person likes this.
Reply 19 - Posted by:
pensom2 5/22/2022 1:30:27 AM (No. 1162424)
If the vehicle comes in the color yellow, the theme song for their ads might be a Beatles song from the "Revolver" album.
0 people like this.
Reply 20 - Posted by:
MickTurn 5/22/2022 1:39:27 AM (No. 1162430)
Well it's at least not a Microsoft Vehicle...has to be rebooted every 15 minutes and takes 20 minutes to be ready to drive...also another feature, the Blue Screen of Death pops up at random. Unsafe at Any Speed doesn't even come close!
0 people like this.
Reply 21 - Posted by:
Wetenschapper 5/22/2022 6:02:41 AM (No. 1162490)
Yes, #20, if MIcrosoft made a car, it would resemble a '56 Cadillac, with huge tail fins, chrome everywhere, and a paint job that only a Pakistani bus driver could love. The passenger compartment would be festooned with buttons, gauges, levers, and knobs, many of them hidden in odd places like the glove box or under the seat, but almost nobody knows how to use most of them, or even what they're for. The engine would need to be enormous, but the car still lumbers along like a tank because it weighs several tons. The second Tuesday of every month, the vehicle would need to go into the shop for a complete overhaul. Often, it wouldn't run afterwards, and would need to go back to the shop a second time. Although Microsoft constantly redesigns and replaces the locks under warranty, the vehicles are frequently broken into and taken for joy-rides. The one-page user's manual simply says "turn key to start".
1 person likes this.
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Comments:
No way you'd get me in one of these.