Dear New Yorkers: Texas Will Break You
Red State,
by
Brandon Morse
Original Article
Posted By: ladydawgfan,
6/26/2025 6:36:24 PM
Hey New Yorkers. I heard you're probably going to get an outright communist as your mayor. Zohran Mamdani sounds like a real peach, and the fact that he won the Democrat Primary and is well on his way to the mayor's office has made many of you fire up your Zillow account and start looking for homes out of state.
I don't blame you, but let me offer you some advice. You're probably going to be tempted to come to Texas because so many companies have moved here, and you feel like you could easily land a job. I could see why you'd think that,
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Reply 1 - Posted by:
jalo1951 6/26/2025 6:54:23 PM (No. 1969799)
This is what happens when schools no longer have strong American and World History classes. Look at how the word racist is thrown around when it was the dems who initiated almost all the laws and injustice against blacks. History is so important to us. It is the map of where we came from and why we hold certain ideals dear. Teach it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. That is how we learn which arrow to follow. NYC is about to make a grave mistake. They think that this just means "tax the rich and we will get free stuff". Big mistake.
25 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
DVC 6/26/2025 7:14:01 PM (No. 1969803)
I loved it. But there may be a 2% exaggeration in one or two of those.
18 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
Safari Man 6/26/2025 7:17:55 PM (No. 1969804)
It’s almost all true. If you don’t sweat, you die. If you do sweat, you’ll dehydrate and die. If you don’t die, you’ll wish you were dead. So i head to Florida where my house is frequently visited by bears and the pond out back has alligators. But it’s the snakes that bother me most. You can bet I’m not a New Yorker
25 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
vrb8m 6/26/2025 7:24:19 PM (No. 1969805)
Don't come to Tennessee either, no matter how friendly you think Dolly Parton is.
29 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
Sunhan65 6/26/2025 7:29:51 PM (No. 1969808)
I thoroughly enjoy my time in Texas and like Texans very much. But I've driven all over the Earth in different countries, both left and right hand drive, and there is no more dangerous place to drive on the highway than DFW area.
One night I saw four major accidents on my way home from Rockwall, and I thought, surely that must be it. Nope. As I got to my exit just beside uptown Dallas, a car that looked like it had been in a compactor was sitting by the side of the road before being dragged off.
People who aren't from the DFW area originally talk about it in quite amazement when they meet up. We speak quietly because we're guests and it's not our state.
12 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
thekidsmom66 6/26/2025 7:39:40 PM (No. 1969812)
I live here (for what will soon be my 59th year), and he's not wrong!
18 people like this.
New York is an overflowing septic tank, spilling its foul contents into other states. California is an overflowing septic tank, too.
31 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
chagrined 6/26/2025 7:53:58 PM (No. 1969815)
From experience, New Yawkers generally deride Texans. Tell you what New Yawkers. . .don't come to Texas.
First off, we don't want you here. You're ***holes and you don't even try to hide it. Not even a smidgeon.
Second, it's hot here. You'll melt like the sissy wimps you are.
Third, and I can't hit this enough, your politics are idiotic. Keep your stupid bull**** in the NE U.S. We don't want it here. It's a damn shame NYC and Boston, amongst other colonial places, are such bastions of socialism and communism. I mean, what a crime.
And I'll add one more thing. Upstate New Yorkers are welcome all the time. Y'all are nothing like New York City pukes and quite personable.
32 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
Catherine 6/26/2025 8:13:54 PM (No. 1969819)
This is hilarious. I loved it. And it's pretty true. I've been to Texas several times and lived there for a short time. But I'm from Louisiana and might I add it's a lot like Texas except for the swamps everywhere. But snakes and mosquitos are in full supply and if you like temperatures in the high 90's and humidity in the even higher 90's, then that's the place for you. Better yet, stay home and fix your own state.
20 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
Johann 6/26/2025 9:22:40 PM (No. 1969830)
London became Londonistan. New York will become Nuyorkistan,
13 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
anniebc 6/26/2025 10:09:06 PM (No. 1969841)
South Carolina is one of THE worst states to live in. The people talk funny, and they say hi to strangers and stuff. Do not come here!
10 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
Flyball Dogs 6/26/2025 10:42:13 PM (No. 1969847)
Don’t come to Alabama, either.
1) We’re rednecks.
2) We’re Rubes.
3) you can’t get tkts to Auburn or Alabama. Just watch on TV.
And it’s hot and humid, too.
8 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
john56 6/26/2025 11:56:45 PM (No. 1969848)
Having lived in Texas for 46 years of my nearly 7 decades on this terrestrial ball, I tell my native Texas friends that we from the North did win the War Between the States. We just waited until air conditioning was perfected before we occupied the territory.
That being said, most of us long-time and native Texans don't take well to this "we did it up this way in New York" attitude. If that's your shtick coming here, stay away.
My native-born Texas wife insists that Texas needs to build a border wall. Along its northern, eastern and western borders.
3 people like this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
YorkieMom 6/27/2025 12:15:15 AM (No. 1969850)
Please don't come to Nevada either. We already have enough stupid Californians here who want us to be California Jr.
3 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
Geoman 6/27/2025 12:17:15 AM (No. 1969851)
The article and a few of the replies remind me of a Letter to the Editor I read in the Dallas Morning News back in the early '90s, before the advent and proliferation of social media. A woman resident of Arlington, an angry transplant from a Northern Midwestern state, wrote to scathing screed, complaining that Texas drivers were the worst on the planet. She had come to Texas, like millions of other new residents for the employment opportunities in the '80s and moved into one of our state's more crowded urban areas. She cited the fact that all of her neighbors on her cul-de-sac, and many of her co-workers, were also transplants and they all agreed that Texas drivers were the worst. She was so obtuse, in the behavioral sense, that she didn't realize the absurdity of her statement, and she could or would not see the relationship of so many northern transplants, like herself, driving on Texas roads as a possible, if not likely, cause of the chaos on our roads that had her so incensed. She never considered that she and her fellow transplants could possibly be the cause of or contributing factor to our crowded and increasingly unfriendly roadways. Conversely, I have observed that many salt-of-the-earth Texans are not native to Texas but they got here as fast as they could, and integrated well into the native culture, which is generally courteous and friendly. Being an amateur historian, it has never escaped my notice that were it not for the transplants from other states, Tennessee and Louisiana notable among them, then Texas might still be a part of Mexico. Guys like Sam Houston, Davy Crocket, Jim Bowie, Moses Austin, and his son Stephen F. Austin are among the true heroes of Texas gaining its independence and becoming the Lone Star State. Just as important, were the women-folk, who were as tough and resilient as any of the guys mentioned above and played no small part in propping up their often inebriated husbands that became famous during the Texas revolution.
6 people like this.
I have discovered that many folks, myself included, that, while born and raised in other states, in terms of our attitudes and outlooks have been Texans all of our lives.
The influx of non-Texans who bring their political pathologies with them from their native habitats is making the big urban areas resemble the Kalifornian, New York, and Michigan, etc. pest holes from whence they came.
The Babylon Bee has a series of videos on Kalifornians moving to Texas that portrays the situation in a humorous but rather truthful way.
2 people like this.
Reply 17 - Posted by:
5 handicap 6/27/2025 5:37:12 AM (No. 1969871)
I guess I was twenty one at the time, in Lewisville Texas, just 15 or so miles north of Dallas, I walked out of my residence. It was 12:30 or so in the morning and had cooled off somewhat from the summer heat. It was a mere 97 degrees, there was a little breeze blowing and was quite pleasant. NYers wouldn't undersand!
0 people like this.
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Comments:
Don't come to Florida either. We're full and the "vacancy" sign is turned OFF!! Try anyway and we'll sic our alligators on you!!