Tales of Yellowstone: Another Tourist
Gets Too Close to Bison, Pays the Price
Red State,
by
Ward Clark
Original Article
Posted By: ladydawgfan,
5/8/2025 5:39:51 PM
This just in: Big animals that can weigh in at a ton, have inch-thick hides, masses of matted hair that is nearly as good as chain-mail armor, that wear big curved perforators on their heads, and that have prickly temperaments, can be dangerous. The animal described, of course, is the American bison, a big, imposing creature, a holdover from the last Ice Age.
And yet, people who think that nature is a Disney movie keep getting too close to them and getting hurt. The latest was a Florida man (of course) who fooled around and found out.
A bison gored a 47-year-old Florida tourist Sunday at Yellowstone National Park
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Reply 1 - Posted by:
itsonlyme 5/8/2025 5:47:47 PM (No. 1947137)
From the article:
"A bison almost attacked and gored a woman at the park in 2023. The woman was trying to pet the animal when it lunged at her."
She should "think" many times before she attempts to pet a lion.
18 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
volksford 5/8/2025 5:57:32 PM (No. 1947140)
I'M tellin' ya... its the Disney effect !
23 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
bamapreacher 5/8/2025 6:05:31 PM (No. 1947146)
Someone needs to train bison in the art of goring so people like this Florida Man don't get away so easily.
14 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
JSanders 5/8/2025 6:10:11 PM (No. 1947149)
The shirts are everywhere. "Don't pet the fluffy cows." One can but hope these idiots have not reproduced.
18 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
LadyHen 5/8/2025 6:16:37 PM (No. 1947152)
When people are so dethatched from the land and believe the Disney anthropomorphic animal nonsense, this crap happens. Animals small and large need to be respected or properly disposed of if they are an unreasonable threat.
I have a mean rooster at the moment of a rare breed. Most of my boys are gentle but this guy is nasty. The jerk is the kind that will full on spurs and all attack you when your back is turned. And man, he can hurt you. No kids in that pen ever! I am raising up a replacement from a different bloodline and the moment my new boy is able to take over and protect the ladies, the jerk is going to be Coq a vin. Now this jerk is all of maybe 7 pounds but you better believe I keep my eyes on the back of my head, I wear long pants and work boots, and I carry a rooster beating stick every time I go in that pen. I still have to whack him in the head every week or so to teach him who is boss. Dumb rooster.
45 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
Vaquero45 5/8/2025 7:02:53 PM (No. 1947168)
I talked to a ranger in Yellowstone years ago; he’d seen a bison gore a Japanese tourist who tried to pose it for a picture. He said the amazing thing about it was not how high the tourist flew into the air, but how easy it was for the bison…
22 people like this.
Reply 7 - Posted by:
Hazymac 5/8/2025 7:17:38 PM (No. 1947172)
An especially large bison bull can grow to 3,000 pounds, twelve feet long by seven feet high, and possesses more power than a mere person can fathom. If, for instance, a large bull objected to human petting, and didn't gore or stomp the idiot to death, he could cradle a human body against his horns and thrown his chin upward. The human would fly as high as twenty feet in the air, turning many somersaults before thudding back to earth. As I learned in driver's ed when I fifteen years and nine months old, never argue with anything bigger than you, whether car versus semi-tractor trailer or man versus bison.
21 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
offrope 5/8/2025 7:23:49 PM (No. 1947175)
I had an friend visiting from NYC who wanted a closer look at a skunk. He found out the hard way that they're not as cute as he thought.
21 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
DrOstrow 5/8/2025 8:18:24 PM (No. 1947193)
Agreed #2 1000%
Been sayin' for decades - Bambi WAS NOT a PBS documentary !!
There are several animals that appear docile and lethargic, elephant seals ( move faster than
you would ever believe, until you actually see one go after something ) , alligators and crocodiles ( both of which can OUTRUN YOU for short distances !) hippos which are responsible for more human fatalities in Africa than all other African animals COMBINED, there are more.
The world can be a very dangerous place. Not all animals are sweet furry woodland creatures
looking to be you pet !!!!
12 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
downnout 5/8/2025 8:25:31 PM (No. 1947197)
Growing up on a ranch I learned quickly how fast cattle can move. I don’t care how sweet and gentle your pet steer is - one good toss of his head and you’re on the ground.
9 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
red1066 5/8/2025 8:31:43 PM (No. 1947199)
As in a post about the woman killed in Florida by an alligator, I've seen far too many people get within six feet of a very large gator or a gathering of gators just to get a photo. Like the Bison in Yellowstone, get too close to wild animals and bad things will happen.
13 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
chumley 5/8/2025 8:34:23 PM (No. 1947203)
Like #10 says, even a regular cow can be deadly. I got to play cowboy for a day at a relative's ranch. Cow didnt want to be in the corral and ran. I was between it and freedom, but not for long. I didnt need a doctor but it was still brutal and painful.
9 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
Felixed 5/8/2025 8:48:37 PM (No. 1947210)
Gotta luv it.
Engaged citizens doing their part to keep the name "Darwin" alive (complete with Award Competition)
10 people like this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
DVC 5/8/2025 9:21:11 PM (No. 1947226)
Life is an ongoing intelligence test, and many folks are earning an F.
13 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
zephyrgirl 5/8/2025 10:45:20 PM (No. 1947249)
I used to volunteer at a sanctuary for large carnivores (bears, big cats, and other assorted critters they picked up along the way). It was impressive how fast they could move when motivated. Occasionally, I saw some rather heated encounters among them, slapping each other around. I was always wary of wild animals, but after watching them, I stay good and far away from them.
12 people like this.
Reply 16 - Posted by:
LadyHen 5/8/2025 11:01:36 PM (No. 1947253)
LOL #8. Our dogs figure that out the hard way too (not a glowing endorsement of the intellect of a NYC dweller)... but we suffer right there with them. That stench!
6 people like this.
Reply 17 - Posted by:
Heil Liberals 5/8/2025 11:08:50 PM (No. 1947258)
Stupid people make every effort to fill Darwin’s quota every year. This is especially true in our national parks, forest, and monuments.
6 people like this.
Reply 18 - Posted by:
YorkieMom 5/8/2025 11:09:32 PM (No. 1947259)
Geez, I'm smart enough to know not to pet a teeny, tiny dog who is a stranger.
7 people like this.
Reply 19 - Posted by:
Highlander 5/8/2025 11:55:12 PM (No. 1947265)
Florida Man, eh? As if the danger of gators and rattlers wasn’t enough, he had to mess with another dangerous animal.
6 people like this.
Reply 20 - Posted by:
DVC 5/9/2025 12:53:22 AM (No. 1947280)
Amen to #15.
If you have never had a 600 lb grizzly charge you from 100 yards away, and cover half the ground in about 2 seconds...while you are scrambling as hard as your fearful legs can carry you to get into the car you are 4 feet from.......and then you look and see him stopped at the 50yd point and WHOOF and pop his teeth a few times....you literally CANNOT grasp how fast they can move.
Like lightning....only faster. Or at least it seems, to watch it.
50 yards in about four or five bounds in about 2 seconds. It is extremely frightening to see coming at you.
This was in McKinley Park in the 1970s when they let you drive your own car on THE one road, after Labor Day. Up until Labor Day you can only ride the buses which will drop you off and pick you up anywhere you want....and you are on your own as far as bears.
We had stopped to watch this bear about 100 yds from the road, and there were several cars that stopped, we got out to watch, staying close to the car. I don't think private vehicles are permitted at all now, only the buses.
He got exasperated after he tried to move past three or four cars by paralleling the road, and the drivers just leapfrogged us ( we held still) and this apparently frustrated the bear - so he charged.
Fortunately, it was one of their false charges. I don't think a car window would stop them.
Nothing false about the stark terror at a primeval level that it elicits, still a chilling memory almost 50 years
later. Big animals have to move fast to survive, far faster than we can.
7 people like this.
Reply 21 - Posted by:
DiegoDude 5/9/2025 4:22:14 AM (No. 1947307)
Lived in Montana for 33 yrs. We always looked forward to Idiot Season. There are huge signs warning you.
7 people like this.
Reply 22 - Posted by:
5 handicap 5/9/2025 6:00:28 AM (No. 1947333)
There should be a big board at the entrance with the scalps attached of all the imbeciles who have been gored by the Bison!
4 people like this.
Reply 23 - Posted by:
mobyclik 5/9/2025 7:41:52 AM (No. 1947382)
And that old standby: ''Hold my beer!''
4 people like this.
Reply 24 - Posted by:
Venturer 5/9/2025 7:59:26 AM (No. 1947402)
I was riding my motorcycle through the Smokeys and up ahead there was a black bear leaning on a car that was stopped, and as we sat there I was thinking what the hell if that thing decided to lean on me and the motorcycle.
3 people like this.
Reply 25 - Posted by:
bpl40 5/9/2025 8:01:45 AM (No. 1947407)
When we were visiting a few years ago a Ranger told us that one tourist asked him when they let the grizzlies out. No end to stupid people.
8 people like this.
Reply 26 - Posted by:
Dodge Boy 5/9/2025 8:40:55 AM (No. 1947421)
Another example of Darwin's Law of Natural Selection. Over time, weaknesses in the human genome are rooted out.
2 people like this.
Reply 27 - Posted by:
Sanddollar 5/9/2025 8:58:48 AM (No. 1947427)
Last time we visited Yellowstone idiots were out of their car taking photos of bison on the road. They were really close. We stayed in the car and waited for the animals to move off the road. These are not cute cuddly creatures but huge wild animals. Leave the wildlife alone.
5 people like this.
Reply 28 - Posted by:
Hazymac 5/9/2025 9:50:45 AM (No. 1947443)
Charlie Chan, the great detective from Honolulu, has an appropriate quote: "Foolish rooster who stick head in lawn mower end in stew."
In 1977 with my family and three others in Kenya, our two VW microbuses stopped at the entrance gate to a national park. The guard at the gate was enclosed in a locked structure that looked quite safe, even from a rogue elephant. Looking over my shoulder across the road, I saw a mature male lion weighing about 450#, just sitting there about fifty feet away, looking at us. I asked Haron, our driver, if the lion would attack anyone crazy enough to get out of the vehicle. He said, "Yes. Immediately." At bottom, we're food for something, be it lions or worms.
3 people like this.
Did this clown also think Joe Biden was a member of MENSA ??
3 people like this.
Reply 30 - Posted by:
NorthernDog 5/9/2025 9:54:15 AM (No. 1947448)
It's amazing the stupid things people do in these National Parks. About a dozen years ago a guy went for a swim in one of the bubbling, steaming hot geyser pools. He basically cooked to death.
0 people like this.
Reply 31 - Posted by:
Phantomll 5/9/2025 10:18:29 AM (No. 1947464)
I had a summer job in Yellowstone when I was in college. We'd see tourists do unbelievably stupid things.
1 person likes this.
Reply 32 - Posted by:
LC Chihuahua 5/9/2025 10:51:33 AM (No. 1947498)
Play with the bison, get the horns. It's not complicated.
And four hooves are always faster than two feet!
0 people like this.
Reply 33 - Posted by:
Roads 5/9/2025 11:28:13 AM (No. 1947524)
I'm waiting for the Wolf petting story.
2 people like this.
Reply 34 - Posted by:
Strike3 5/9/2025 12:40:56 PM (No. 1947568)
Either these people can't read or they somehow sense that they will be the one person in ten thousand that a large animal will want to be friends with. The vocabulary of predators is very small. Eat, sleep, protect.
1 person likes this.
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Morons gotta moron!! Bison are NOT big dogs!! They WILL kill you!!