Colombia to Euthanize Wild 'Cocaine Hippos'
PJ Media,
by
Sarah Anderson
Original Article
Posted By: Hazymac,
4/15/2026 6:57:57 PM
Hippos typically live exclusively in the wetlands, lakes, and rivers of sub-Saharan Africa... unless an infamous drug lord imported them to South America in the early 1980s, was fatally shot about a decade later, and the ones he kept as pets escaped, adapted to the region, and created their own colony.
You may or may not recall that at the time Pablo Escobar was killed in 1993, he owned hundreds of exotic animals, including four hippopotamuses that he reportedly imported from a wildlife center in Texas, which were kept at his Hacienda Nápoles estate. After his death, the Colombian government deemed them impossible to seize, so they were just left there,
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Reply 1 - Posted by:
konocti95 4/15/2026 7:11:43 PM (No. 2093196)
A bullet, a winch, a hundred pounds of dynamite…you can have a WHALE of a time!
9 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
Axeman 4/15/2026 7:19:48 PM (No. 2093198)
They are a harmful invasive species that is destroying the environment. If anyone wants one, come and get it. No charge. Act now, before the offer ends. Limited supply available.
11 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
Hazymac 4/15/2026 7:26:52 PM (No. 2093201)
Colombia's hippopotamus problem is the same type of problem that the southern USA (except the desert) has with feral hogs. Up here, we've got at least ten million unwanted, destructive pigs that breed like crazy without nearly enough hunters to bring their numbers down somewhat. Thus, their numbers are going up steeply. Feral hogs in America can weigh as much as five hundred pounds.
Hippopotamuses can't see very well, are ill-tempered, sometimes very aggressive, can run thirty miles per hour (faster than Usain Bolt!), can weigh up to five thousand pounds, and are capable of biting an adult human in half. In Africa, hippos kill more people each year--some 400-600, by some estimates--than Nile crocodiles, more than lions, more than venomous snakes. You can look it up. (The deadliest animal in Africa, if it wanted to be, is, of course, the elephant, which can be thirteen feet high at the shoulder and weigh twenty thousand. But a hippo wouldn't take much longer to finish off one unfortunate homo sapiens.)
Colombia has a significant problem trying to eliminate Pablo Escobar's huge zoo pets, which might number one thousand within eight years. One thing unmentioned in this article is that hippos provide food for a lot of people in sub-Saharan Africa. Instead of trying to create hippo sanctuaries, why not employ elephant guns to shoot and harvest them?
"Hippo sanctuary"? Really?
16 people like this.
And I thought wild hogs were bad!
9 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
DVC 4/15/2026 8:15:40 PM (No. 2093213)
Invite in big game hunters to shoot them. Make few bux.
15 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
Scout Finch 4/16/2026 12:47:52 AM (No. 2093246)
“I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will do!” 🎵
10 people like this.
Reply 7 - Posted by:
kiwinews 4/16/2026 1:38:20 AM (No. 2093248)
Shoot them. Forget the cutesy cartoon image of them. They are deadly, invasive, non-native, highly territorial animals. Africa's most dangerous large animal (kill about 500 people a year - internet numbers so could be +/-). For the sake of the environment, they need to be destroyed. Imagine if we could go back in time and stop other such species when their numbers were still few and manageable (feral hogs, indonesian pythons in the USA - camels in Australia to name just a few)
8 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
Pepperpot59 4/16/2026 2:14:25 AM (No. 2093249)
With just a two pair genetic base, these hippos are terribly inbred.
5 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
homefry 4/16/2026 8:02:28 AM (No. 2093298)
Eat them!!
4 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
NorthernDog 4/16/2026 8:51:29 AM (No. 2093314)
But hippos always look cute in children's books. Often depicted as pink with large eyelashes and a smile. Maybe Disney can open a hippo theme park?
2 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
RuckusTom 4/16/2026 8:57:09 AM (No. 2093318)
Columbia could make a lot of money for hunting trips. Licenses, fees, guides, new high powered rifles, plane trips ... there are plenty of wealthy hunters around the world who'd love to pay top dollar to help take care of the issue. By the way, hippos are the deadliest land animal in Africa.
5 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
privateer 4/16/2026 9:00:16 AM (No. 2093320)
Air drop them at the North Pole. The Polar bears will think it's Thanksgiving Dinner. Hopefully, they wouldn't interbreed; that would be something truly terrifying.
1 person likes this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
felixcat 4/16/2026 9:19:20 AM (No. 2093328)
it would be nice if states like Texas (where the original hippos were purchased from) outlawed these exotic ranches. bad enough Texas allow canned hunts of animals. How is that sport? No good reason for any "business" to be breeding and selling non native livestock in this country to be sold to anyone with the money anywhere located in the world.
1 person likes this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
Sunhan65 4/16/2026 10:31:56 AM (No. 2093353)
But they were my favorite band in college!
0 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
Hazymac 4/16/2026 3:17:28 PM (No. 2093472)
Here is a map dated 2022, showing the areas in the USA already infested with feral hogs.
https://feralhogs.tamu.edu/feral-hog-distribution-and-expansion/
A few hundred invasive hippopotamuses in Colombia shouldn't be impossible to locate and eliminate. Just don't hesitate for too long. Now Florida has a high feral hog population--millions--and there aren't enough hunters in the right places. Plus Burmese pythons and exotic lizards, etc.
In the Gulf and Atlantic waters around the state, the beautiful but venomous lionfish (a variety of scorpionfish), a non-native commonly found in marine aquariums, got released into Florida waters five or more decades ago. Now they're so common that divers are urged to harvest as many as possible, usually by spear or net. Don't grab one! They're on local restaurant menus now, and they're good eating ... but they're out of control.
In the first Naked Gun movie, Frank Drebbin (Leslie Nielsen) of Police Squad accidentally flipped over his shoulder the evil Vincent Ludwig's (Ricardo Montalban) priceless fountain pen that can't tolerate salt water into a marine aquarium full of lionfish, then tried to retrieve it behind his back without Ludwig seeing him. He grabbed a lionfish! Ow!! That's a painful mistake. Instead, just drop a few freshwater goldfish from the pet store into the tank and watch the lionfish suck 'em in and get lion-bellied on goldfish. Entertaining. My closest friend had a marine tank with a lionfish named Victor. And a razor-toothed Picasso (trigger) fish named Pablo, both goldfish slayers, predators. Good times.
1 person likes this.
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