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Sharks Are Testing Positive For Cocaine
And Caffeine in The Bahamas

Original Article

Posted By: Hazymac, 3/28/2026 7:34:06 AM

Sharks in the Bahamas have tested positive for cocaine, a new study concludes. Researchers from the Bahamas, Brazil, and Chile also found traces of caffeine and painkillers in the sharks. This isn't a shift in lifestyle from the animals, but rather something that's being forced upon them, as marine pollution becomes ever more pervasive. Finding traces of these substances in a tropical place widely seen as idyllic and pristine is concerning – it seems there are vanishingly few spots on Earth where wildlife can escape our influence. "Pharmaceuticals and illicit drugs are increasingly recognized as contaminants of emerging concern (CECs) in marine environments, particularly in areas undergoing rapid urbanization and tourism-driven development,"

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All the little fishies get frozen noses.

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Reply 1 - Posted by: petrichor 3/28/2026 7:40:57 AM (No. 2085882)
Oh sure! Naturally occurring increases of THC in drinking fountains are causing increases in high school students' lethargy.
7 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: udanja99 3/28/2026 9:20:08 AM (No. 2085926)
From blowing up all of those drug boats?
3 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: VietVet68 3/28/2026 9:36:40 AM (No. 2085939)
How do the sharks snort the cocaine under water? Asking for my friend Hunter.
12 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: kdog 3/28/2026 10:36:22 AM (No. 2085976)
100 years from now my great grandchildren are going to hear how sharks still follow the routes used by drug runners in the last century who's boats were sunk by the evil dictator DJT. It will all be in the official history book.
9 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: JHHolliday 3/28/2026 10:36:38 AM (No. 2085977)
Maybe all that THC just mellows out the sharks and they are less likely to attack humans. Then again, it may give them the munchies.
12 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: Highlander 3/28/2026 10:47:36 AM (No. 2085983)
How did they make the sharks submit to blood tests?
3 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: DVC 3/28/2026 11:05:29 AM (No. 2085991)
Beware of "sciencey" articles which report that this chemical or that chemical "was detected in....". Thirty years ago chemical detection methods needed fairly significant concentrations, say a few parts per million, or maybe 10-100 parts per billion. For a baseline, one drop from an eyedropper into a single gallon will give about 1 part per million. Now days, test equipment is much more sensitive, and can detect 1 part per billion, or even a few parts per trillion. So, at a part per trillion, that's one drop in 1 million gallons...or one drop in about 1.5 Olympic sized swimming pools. When you read "scientists have detected xxxxx chemical" in water, or in a shark.....note than they never say what levels. Probably barely detectable, like parts per trillion. Nothing is toxic at parts per trillion. Ordinary soil generally contains 3 to 4 parts per million of arsenic, a deadly poison in higher doses. But, our ground water filters through the soil. Drinking water standards recognize 10 parts per billion arsenic as safe to drink for your whole life. So is you hear that "arsenic detected in drinking water".....should you be scared (as the author intended to frighten you) or not? Since "detected' might mean 10 parts per trillion or even 1 part per billion....either of which is perfectly safe for arsenic, you shouldn't be frightened. Beware the "was detected in" fraud when it has no NUMBERS showing the level that was detected. They love scare headlines. Lying with science. Ain't it just a bunch of fun?
9 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: JunkYardDog 3/28/2026 11:35:56 AM (No. 2086014)
So THAT'S what's happened to all that blow from Maduro's drug boats that were blown up by the Navy! White sharks doing white lines lol. Gotta wonder about the caffiene though, I guess Atlantis has a Starbucks too.
3 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: jdano 3/28/2026 12:13:46 PM (No. 2086046)
Are any testing positive for dry martinis ? 😜
6 people like this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: Schnapps 3/28/2026 1:27:35 PM (No. 2086077)
Those sharks need to be more discriminating in who they eat.
3 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: Schnapps 3/28/2026 4:28:09 PM (No. 2086098)
In a related report, the Eleutheran islanders were asked how they handle the homeless drug addicts visiting the islands. " We don't have any homeless drug addicts here." was the reply
2 people like this.

Reply 12 - Posted by: MickTurn 3/28/2026 11:05:37 PM (No. 2086153)
I want to see tests on ALL GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES, especially Congress Critters!
1 person likes this.

Reply 13 - Posted by: Sunhan65 3/28/2026 11:46:32 PM (No. 2086156)
At last we know where the Baby Shark song came from.
1 person likes this.

Reply 14 - Posted by: mifla 3/29/2026 7:58:15 AM (No. 2086211)
Or perhaps the sharks are eating the occasional American tourist who waded out into the ocean to get a selfie with the shark.
2 people like this.

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