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'The FBI Raid On Melania's Closet Was
Justified,' Says Merrick Garland Wearing
Gorgeous New Evening Gown And Sun Hat

Original Article

Posted By: Kate318, 8/22/2022 7:58:09 PM

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified. Eyewitnesses noted he looked unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior sun hat.


Don’t know if this article will be allowed, but I figured we could all use a good laugh. I love the Bee!

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Reply 1 - Posted by: Moritz55 8/22/2022 8:06:03 PM (No. 1256492)
I’m glad I saw the article before it disappeared! Priceless! Thanks for posting
34 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: Ribicon 8/22/2022 8:08:04 PM (No. 1256497)
FTA: "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown as the press gasped with delight. Good stuff. And Boy Garlick has never looked more chic!
30 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: john56 8/22/2022 8:16:33 PM (No. 1256501)
And the "Wish We Could Leave California Now" parody song was a hoot too. Especially the "Gavin Newsome U-Haul Salesman of the year" plaque.
26 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: downnout 8/22/2022 8:31:58 PM (No. 1256508)
Please, Miss Lucianne, let the Babylon Bee satires stay on site…they’re priceless!!!
31 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: Tet Vet 68 8/22/2022 8:32:14 PM (No. 1256509)
With all thew insanity going on I needed a good laugh thanks!
19 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: Dodge Boy 8/22/2022 8:34:38 PM (No. 1256511)
Whew! The Garlic Man really needs to do something with his hair. Melania's hat is too big for his little pin head. And his makeup is awful. Designer specs would help hide that hideous beak of his. And the brown teeth, from drinking too much coffee, Garlic Man?
17 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: jalo1951 8/22/2022 8:35:46 PM (No. 1256514)
So that's how Mary got his job. Checking off the tranny box.
8 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: 504pc 8/22/2022 8:54:40 PM (No. 1256526)
Conjuring the ghost of J Edgar Hoover, our G Man in a G string.
11 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: padiva 8/22/2022 8:55:12 PM (No. 1256527)
What else was found? A list of the people PDT wants to invite to Tiffany's wedding. Videos of all of his television shows (Can we be as outlandish as the Babylon Bee?)
10 people like this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: MaMe2 8/22/2022 9:14:27 PM (No. 1256542)
I feel pretty .. oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and fine. Oh so pretty. Miss America should just resign.
12 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: LC Chihuahua 8/22/2022 9:30:24 PM (No. 1256551)
Seriously, still think Biden wanted a souvenir. Oh, that's right. He didn't know anything about the raid. Nevermind (/s).
10 people like this.

Reply 12 - Posted by: SycamoreHills 8/22/2022 9:52:52 PM (No. 1256579)
I love the Babylon Bee. Of course the left wants to shut it down since satire is one of the most effective weapons against totalitarianism. I try to share their articles with all my friends, left or right.
8 people like this.

Reply 13 - Posted by: padiva 8/22/2022 9:55:08 PM (No. 1256582)
Hat tip to #10
5 people like this.

Reply 14 - Posted by: TruthFetish 8/22/2022 10:12:21 PM (No. 1256597)
Brilliant! Tune in to tomorrow morning's inevitable FBI raid of the Babylon Bee offices.
7 people like this.

Reply 15 - Posted by: EJKrausJr 8/22/2022 10:25:55 PM (No. 1256603)
You can't put enough lipstick on that Garland to make up for his/her/she's lack of common sense.
3 people like this.

Reply 16 - Posted by: Sandpiper 8/22/2022 11:11:40 PM (No. 1256634)
3 people like this.

Reply 17 - Posted by: HisHandmaiden 8/23/2022 12:00:32 AM (No. 1256649)
"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary," said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." Truth is often said in jest…
6 people like this.

Reply 18 - Posted by: GoodDeal 8/23/2022 1:21:29 AM (No. 1256676)
Waiting for selfies of FBI agents with a pair of her thong undies on their heads.
6 people like this.

Reply 19 - Posted by: rfr46 8/23/2022 2:41:23 AM (No. 1256682)
Panty raid!
5 people like this.

Reply 20 - Posted by: JackBurton 8/23/2022 9:33:30 AM (No. 1256887)
0 people like this.

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