How do you get over losing the partner you've
spent nearly all your life with? As Prince Philip is
laid to rest, end-of-life doula ANNA LYONS
describes the heartbreak she knows all too well
Daily Mail (UK),
by
Anna Lyons
Original Article
Posted By: ladydawgfan,
4/17/2021 8:49:48 PM
Few moments in life are as profoundly lonely as the day after the funeral of a loved one.
And if the loss is of a lifelong companion – one's 'strength and stay', as the Queen so elegantly described her husband of 73 years, the Duke of Edinburgh – then it marks the point at which a life, irrevocably changed, must somehow carry on without them.
The important paperwork and admin that always accompanies a death is largely done. The well-wishers and consolers have paid their tributes and shared memories.
But when the door finally closes and Elizabeth is left alone without her Philip,
Reply 1 - Posted by:
padiva 4/17/2021 9:15:12 PM (No. 758044)
Thanks OP
16 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
RuckusTom 4/17/2021 9:37:04 PM (No. 758049)
Huh. Didn't we fight two wars with the Brits; one to win our independence and the second one in 1812 where Andrew Jackson kicked them back home?
France and Spain and Germany and Scotland and Ireland and Denmark (remember New Amsterdam?) had more influence on founding our country than the Brits did. Heck, they fought us every step of the way.
3 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
earlybird 4/17/2021 9:55:53 PM (No. 758059)
You don’t get over it. You miss them every minute of every day.
34 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
Mauigirl 4/17/2021 10:15:56 PM (No. 758067)
I don't have a single clue what #2 is talking about.
What I do know is this article hit home to me.
My husband died three and a half years ago...after 30 years of marriage.
He was only 71....from Lewy Body Dementia.
It's not something I will ever get over.
When he died, I died.
Although I think about him and talk to him every day and night.
Especially at night. That's when I cry.
I can't even bring myself give his clothes to Goodwill.
They're still hanging in his closet.
Someday soon, I hope, he and I will be together again.
Until then I'll enjoy my four daughters and six grandkids.
My guess is that many LDotters have had a similar loss, or losses.
You have my total sympathy. And empathy.
Thanks for posting, OP.
God bless you and God bless your mom.
44 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
Cindiana 4/17/2021 10:20:52 PM (No. 758069)
It's a poignant and lovely article, so thanks to OP for sharing it, and sincere condolences on a major loss.
I'd guess that most of us have been touched by very difficult challenges this year, and too often that was death of a loved one.
I found the little stories in the article to be very touching and helpful, each in its own way.
14 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
pensom2 4/17/2021 11:00:24 PM (No. 758080)
I have long believed that the chilly royal family is not so homey and close-knit as many assume. The Queen will carry on with her royal duties, meeting with her ministers and advisors daily, often to inform her how best to deal with her wayward and often disturbed offspring and their offspring, and how the courtiers should announce the family's latest follies, such as the latest from Harry and Me-Again. She'll continue to pass late afternoons walking with her Pembroke Welsh Terriers, to whom she's closer than most anyone in her family. She'll finish her day dining at her long table--alone--much as she has done half her evenings the last 30 years. Unfortunately, Phillip will now not make his occasional appearances, dining whilst reading the Times.
2 people like this.
Reply 7 - Posted by:
RuckusTom 4/17/2021 11:11:13 PM (No. 758082)
#4 I'm sorry for your loss.
We won our independence fighting the British. We fought them again in 1812. The French helped us in out in our war for independence. Florida was Spanish and California was Spanish. New York City was initially called New Amsterdam because it was settled by the Dutch.
This can all be found on a thing called Google Search, if you haven't heard of it.
4 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
Timber Queen 4/17/2021 11:26:56 PM (No. 758088)
#4 - My lifelong best friend's husband has suffered Lewy Body dementia for the last five years. He was just put into hospice care at home with a diagnosis of 3-4 months. He is totally bedridden now. I'm going down to L.A. next week to help out and just keep her company for the week. I'm going to try and make a week a month until the end. She has totally dedicated her life to caring for him and we've talked about "after" and it is heart-wrenching. My most sincere condolences for your loss, for all our loses.
The author stressed the importance of ritual. I think this is where people of faith have a great advantage over unbelievers; we know that life is eternal. This earthly experience is only our apprenticeship for life and when we cross over, with grace, we are admitted into the Court of God Almighty. These beliefs are also accompanied with ritual, and unfortunately in this time we have been robbed of those rituals surrounding death. The saddest "memorial" service I ever attended was for a woman of no faith, a grieving husband with no faith and friends with no faith. These poor people were lost and floundering trying to make sense of death when they didn't even know the meaning of life.
31 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
paleoconserv43 4/17/2021 11:27:05 PM (No. 758089)
I think they were great friends with tremendous respect for each other; but not a traditional marriage. It’s an open secret that they haven’t shared the same bedroom for over half a century.
4 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
red1066 4/17/2021 11:42:40 PM (No. 758094)
The Queen will have friends and relatives to lean on in the coming months. To the outside world however, she will appear to just carry on. The British people will rally around the queen making her even more popular than before. As for losing close relatives, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my mother and father even though it's been 37 years since my mother died, and 11 years since my father died. Sometimes it's some little thing that brings back a memory, which then triggers even more memories. I don't care what anyone says, you never get over losing your parents.
23 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
3XALADY 4/18/2021 8:51:43 AM (No. 758299)
#10 or your husband who shared your life for 43 years. He has been gone almost 5 years, still almost unbelievable. When I was making arrangements for the memorial service, the funeral director said it is so obvious when he is dealing with a Christian family and so, so sad when he's not.
5 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
earlybird 4/18/2021 11:57:37 AM (No. 758502)
In my opinion, it is the ultimate presumption to state opinions on how close the British royal family (or any family, for that matter) is when there is absolutely no personal knownledge of how they behave when they are not on display. I strongly doubt that any among us have been inside the royal family at any time. Especially when the Queen dines.
I don’t trust anyone who professes to be “inside” a famous family as they too often have their own agendas and it shows.
6 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
earlybird 4/18/2021 12:01:40 PM (No. 758506)
Re #8, I am so sorry to hear about your friend and her husband. One of my husband’s longtime friends died a few years ago, having had Lewy body Parkinsons… It is a long, slow death. She brought a companion into their householder and a marvelous dog, whom her husband adored. Eventually he ended up in hospice care and was gone.
They are both fortunate to have a devoted friend like you. As I found with my husband’s stroke, far too many “friends” flee when serious illness hits. They don’t know how to cope. Perhaps they are afraid to see what could happen to them?
God bless you and your friends….
5 people like this.
Below, you will find ...
Most Recent Articles posted by "ladydawgfan"
and
Most Active Articles (last 48 hours)
Comments:
My father showed this article to me. My mother died on St. Patrick's day this year and we are still dealing with shock and grief every day. This article helped my father make sense of some things. It is long but worth reading every word, particularly if you have recently lost someone dear to you.