Goodbye, Cows
Taki´s Magazine,
by
Taki Theodoracopulos
Original Article
Posted By: Hazymac,
10/4/2020 10:47:26 AM
GSTAAD—It is not exactly a stop all the clocks occasion, let alone cut off the telephones, but I’ve finally come to a decision: My looking-at-cows time is over. I am going to leave good old Helvetia and find something nice in the green and pleasant land I hear about sung in hymns in British churches. Easier said than done. The reason I want to move is that I’ve had it. For the first time in my life I’m bored with my surroundings and the new people who are arriving and sticking like flies on you-know-what. An enormous hike in taxes by the Swiss government on foreigners does not help.
Reply 1 - Posted by:
Hazymac 10/4/2020 11:16:09 AM (No. 561628)
In about 1990 after reading about Taki's Japanese martial arts classes in his recurring National Review column, I decided to apply my new knowledge--he had taught me in the article to count to ten in Japanese--in my own martial arts class, which was Tang Soo Do, taught in traditional Korean, very strict. Before any instruction was done, we stretched for 30 minutes and exercised for 30 more. In class at the dojang, we were all doing pushups one evening, counting in Korean. When my turn came, I counted to ten in Japanese. Big mistake.
Forty-five minutes later, wearing full protective gear, I had to spar with my instructor, a fifth degree black belt who after getting his black belts had spent two years learning from Dan Inosanto, Bruce Lee's training partner and co-founder of Jeet Kune Do, and had been undefeated on the Tri-State (NY, NJ, PA) kickboxing circuit (record 56-0 with 56 KOs). He faked a roundhouse kick to my head and I blocked high. Then he speared me under the arm with a side kick, sending me flying through the air. I hit the wall and broke through the 3/16" paper overlay paneling, hanging there between the studs. I was, literally, sticking out of the wall with my feet three feet off the ground. The splinters went into my heavy canvas uniform, not my shoulder. The wall was more hurt than I was. But I was stunned for real. Before letting us out, he said if I ever spoke Japanese again in class, he would kill me. I believed him. Nary a word of disapprobation from me afterward. Nowadays I carry a permit and a gun so I don't have to fight hard dudes like Sah Bum Nim ("respected instructor"). After the multiple bouts of spinal fusion, I'm too fragile for that anyway.
So thanks, Taki. I won't try that again. But I appreciated the knowledge. And all the things you've done and the people you've met.
19 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
Stencil 10/4/2020 11:40:39 AM (No. 561647)
I missed the esteemed poster’s stories and observations in this venue of late. Glad to see you’re still “up and at ‘em”.
16 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
MindMadeUp 10/4/2020 11:56:26 AM (No. 561665)
Taki is proof we have all the brilliant, ethical, and authentically charming ones on our side.
15 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
DVC 10/4/2020 12:55:18 PM (No. 561735)
Clearly Taki is in a different (higher) class than I. I've been to some of these places to visit at least. But, not enjoying wine or other alcohol, and not being much of a party person, I suspect I'd be pretty dull company for him.
But, I do enjoy his writing, and peeking in at his lifestyle, and his accurate assessment at the state of the world.
And as to Japanese....I do buy their cars, but I do not forget how truly evil they were 75 and 80 years ago to the Chinese and Korean people, and to captured Americans. My father was a USN fighter pilot at the end of WW2, and only the nukes kept him from flying in the Invasion of Japan that never happened. From what I can tell, Japanese racism against all non-Japanese makes the worst things that the Americans and British ever imagined pale in comparison.
And re: #1 comment, a friend was a serious martial arts guy, he had extremely fast and athletic moves. But a run in with a couple of street fighting thugs left him with a broken thumb which required surgical reconstruction, some other injuries and a desire to learn to use a handgun effectively. His natural athletics and fabulous hand-eye cooridination led him to the top 5-10 at the national championships in practical pistol shooting for a number of years. And there was another former state champion in full contact karate (IIRC) who was a shooter in our club after realizing that too many criminals won't fight you, they'll shoot you.
12 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
acesfull 10/4/2020 12:55:19 PM (No. 561736)
I’ve enjoyed reading Taki for many years and anyone who is not familiar with his eccentricities might do a google search to enjoy his unique take on life.
11 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
Strike3 10/4/2020 1:32:25 PM (No. 561794)
Enjoyable, not so serious article. I too have written off New York City but if things ever get somewhat sane again I could be talked into a quick trip to Chinatown or Little Italy. Meanwhile I've bought a few Asian and Italian cookbooks, just in case.
5 people like this.
Reply 7 - Posted by:
Jesuslover54 10/4/2020 1:41:46 PM (No. 561805)
Those are not Swiss cows in the accompanying picture, BTW.
5 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
earlybird 10/4/2020 2:10:16 PM (No. 561830)
Re #7 and the photo, those are cows in Switzerland, where there are a number of breeds. “Brown Swiss Cow” is just one breed. Have a look:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/swiss-army-completes-huge-military-mission-save-thirsty-cows-10468080.html
My grandmother was from Gstaad, my grandfather from Lenk. They ended up living in Adelboden.
3 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
earlybird 10/4/2020 2:15:47 PM (No. 561832)
Re #7 and 8,
The cow known as a Brown Swiss is an American breed. From Wikipedia:
The Brown Swiss or American Brown Swiss is an American breed of dairy cattle. It derives from the traditional triple-purpose Braunvieh of the Alpine region of Europe, but has diverged substantially from it. It was selectively bred for dairy qualities only, and its draft and beef capabilities were lost. Milk yield was measured in 2013 at 10231 kg (22600 lb) per year;[2]:142 the milk has about 4% butterfat and 3.5% protein[3] and is suitable for making cheese.
4 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
earlybird 10/4/2020 2:29:36 PM (No. 561838)
On those cows, they are Simmentalk, named for the place in the Bernese Oberland where they originated long ago. Gstaad is in the Bernese Oberland.
6 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
earlybird 10/4/2020 4:51:38 PM (No. 561960)
Simmental.
1 person likes this.
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Taki's world wise observations are more than a pleasure to read. If people are, metaphorically speaking, wine types, most of humanity is plonk while Taki is a great bottle of champagne.