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ISIS leader dubbed ‘Jabba
the Jihadi’ captured
in Iraq

Original Article

Posted By: ladydawgfan, 1/17/2020 3:18:08 PM

He put the fat in fatwa. A morbidly obese ISIS fanatic dubbed “Jabba the Jihadi” has been captured by Iraqi forces — who loaded him onto a flatbed truck because he couldn’t fit in a police car. The 560-pound mufti Abu Abdul Bari, also known as Shifa al-Nima, was nabbed Thursday by an elite SWAT team of the Nineveh regiment in the city of Mosul, according to Stars and Stripes. The jumbo jihadist was known for “provocative speeches against the security forces” and is considered one of the top leaders of “ISIS gangs,” Iraqi security officials said in a statement. Bari issued religious decrees — or fatwas —

Comments:

O.M.G.!!! I guess he couldn't exactly run from the US military!!

Post Reply

Reply 1 - Posted by: VAPMAN 1/17/2020 3:25:25 PM (No. 291149)
He looks like he’s related to Jerry Nadler also known as Jabba -the- Impeacher.
26 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: Tennman 1/17/2020 3:32:36 PM (No. 291155)
Might have given him up to keep from feeding him.
16 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: Zumkopf 1/17/2020 3:48:15 PM (No. 291166)
FTA: "Referring to Bari’s heft, he added: 'Good luck hanging him Iraq.' ” Well, there's always the method by which ISIS murdered that Jordanian pilot. Rather hard for ISIS/Bari to object to a "punishment" they themselves used.
10 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: DVC 1/17/2020 3:48:15 PM (No. 291167)
Lock him in a cell and give him water. Nothing else needed for at least 6 months, maybe a year.
10 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: Ida Lou Pino 1/17/2020 3:48:44 PM (No. 291168)
He tried to hide behind a tree - - but - - unfortunately - - they don't have any giant redwoods in Iraq.
14 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: ROLFNader 1/17/2020 3:49:34 PM (No. 291170)
Hey Jabba, Is that a MOAB in your pocket or are you just happy to see your dinner of leaves and twigs arriving?
6 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: EliotRosewater49 1/17/2020 3:49:42 PM (No. 291171)
“He put the fat in fatwa.” LOL!!!
19 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: LanceLink1 1/17/2020 3:52:33 PM (No. 291176)
Obi Wan has fed you well.
7 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: Dodge Boy 1/17/2020 3:55:01 PM (No. 291177)
Nadler's Humpty Dumpty uncle on steroids.
12 people like this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: bad-hair 1/17/2020 4:12:24 PM (No. 291194)
I wonder if he tried to make a run for it. The video would be priceless.
11 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: Highlander 1/17/2020 4:34:02 PM (No. 291209)
How was he able to hide?
9 people like this.

Reply 12 - Posted by: Clinger 1/17/2020 4:38:40 PM (No. 291211)
Let that be a lesson , you can run but you can't...actually you can't run can you, well still its a lesson.
10 people like this.

Reply 13 - Posted by: bad-hair 1/17/2020 4:39:40 PM (No. 291213)
They're gonna send him to Gitmo once they find a REALLY good logistics company and customs broker.
4 people like this.

Reply 14 - Posted by: Watlines1 1/17/2020 4:39:46 PM (No. 291214)
Put him under house arrest and let him order in. He ain't going nowhere.
3 people like this.

Reply 15 - Posted by: Wendybird 1/17/2020 4:43:48 PM (No. 291216)
Jabba has just been engaged by Weight Watchers
4 people like this.

Reply 16 - Posted by: JHHolliday 1/17/2020 5:00:21 PM (No. 291226)
Grossly obese but jail food will slim him down a bit.
4 people like this.

Reply 17 - Posted by: 3XALADY 1/17/2020 5:40:42 PM (No. 291253)
#1 got there first! My first thought was he was related to Jabba the Hut, a/k/a Nadless. He looks like he could be on the 'My 600 lb. Life' TV show. Gitmo should take care of that ugly fat.
4 people like this.

Reply 18 - Posted by: qr4j 1/17/2020 6:13:43 PM (No. 291261)
My big question is this: In hell, will he be dating Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton? Maybe he and Bill Clinton will get together. Or perhaps Al Gore and Jabba the Jahadi will activate each other's shakra.
4 people like this.

Reply 19 - Posted by: Hazymac 1/17/2020 6:14:11 PM (No. 291262)
FTA: "Referring to Bari’s heft, he added: 'Good luck hanging him Iraq.' " If this lard-ass jihadi ever did face a hangman, he'd need the strongest neck in human history to stay intact after the trap door hinged away. Either that or his neck would stretch so far--like a cartoon character's--his feet would slap the floor. He wouldn't even have the pleasure of dangling at length. He'd just lie there with his broken neck in a big puddle of disrupted cellulite. Someone ought to let the air out of Bari. Ssssssssss.
4 people like this.

Reply 20 - Posted by: Pete Stone 1/17/2020 6:27:32 PM (No. 291272)
Do what the Nuremberg court did with Hermann Goering. They put him on 1800 calories a day. He lost 60 pounds in 5 months before he cheated the hangman. Jabba won't have 5 months, though. They may have to shoot him rather than hang him. (Hanging that lardo would result in a very messy beheading.)
3 people like this.

Reply 21 - Posted by: Namma 1/17/2020 7:03:44 PM (No. 291293)
Don’t bring him to The United States. They will want to feature him on “My 600 lbs life” Oh wait. He doesn’t qualify. He’s only 550lbs. Now you know why some people in Iraq are starving. This guy ate their food. All of it
7 people like this.

Reply 22 - Posted by: bad-hair 1/17/2020 7:09:20 PM (No. 291296)
Hey martyrs. Muhammed promised you 72 virgins. He didn't say ALL AT ONCE. Here's your first one. PS #2 is a goat.
2 people like this.

Reply 23 - Posted by: bpl40 1/17/2020 11:36:13 PM (No. 291410)
How did they spot him? From a satellite?
2 people like this.

Reply 24 - Posted by: Annie Xango 1/17/2020 11:41:10 PM (No. 291412)
Just wait...watch for him to demand that we provide him with gastric band surgery...FREE!!!!
2 people like this.

Reply 25 - Posted by: Luandir 1/18/2020 1:33:05 AM (No. 291435)
Where's Princess Leia when we need her?
2 people like this.

Reply 26 - Posted by: Trigger2 1/18/2020 3:47:13 AM (No. 291442)
You'd have to use a holitzer to get through the blubber instead of a bullet to send him to his jihadi heaven.
1 person likes this.

Reply 27 - Posted by: 4Justice 1/18/2020 2:27:53 PM (No. 291862)
Actually, its 72 raisins--not virgins. I don't think 72 raisins would last long near him.
0 people like this.

Reply 28 - Posted by: garyhope 1/18/2020 3:01:24 PM (No. 291874)
How much do you have to eat to weigh 560 pounds? Do you have to eat full time, non stop to weigh that much? Can you even walk? And there many other questions that are too disgusting to even think about. They would give me and you nightmares. Can you imagine the stench?
0 people like this.

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