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Georgia bill would require men to report every release of sperm to officers

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Posted By: PlayItAgain, 3/19/2019 12:51:45 PM

ATLANTA — A two-line proposed bill would require men to report "certain events" of a sexual nature to law enforcement. HB 604 would amend Chapter 1 of Title 35 of the Official Code of Georgia so that "any male 55 years of age or older shall immediately report to the county sheriff or local law enforcement agency when such male releases sperm from his testicles."

Comments:

Please, please PLEEEASE!! Pass this bill!
Such a gift.

Just debate the thing in the legislature! Would be wondrous to watch these 5 females discuss the process of testicles releasing sperm, and such like that.

Headline split by staff

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Reply 1 - Posted by: Mr. Know-It-All 3/19/2019 1:00:06 PM (No. 6123)
Ha!!

Think of all the braggadocios types who would be calling up the cops every day or so, bragging about how he bagged another babe last night and had to report two incidents.

What nutjobs these womyn are.
53 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: bad-hair 3/19/2019 1:02:43 PM (No. 6076)
I have checked, but nonetheless am DOUBLE checking … Is it April 1st yet?
48 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: SALady 3/19/2019 1:04:38 PM (No. 6114)
There are times that, even though I am a woman, I seriously don´t understand why they ever gave us the vote!!!!!!

I look at all the insane women out there that are actually in positions of power (AOC, crazy Auntie Maxine Waters, Nasty Nanci Piglosi, the Hilldebeast, etc, etc), and I actually find myself thinking that I would be willing to give up my vote if it would clear them all out of power!!!!!!

This is just an insane world we live in!!!!!!!!! And, sadly, it just seems like 75% of that insanity belongs to women!!!!
126 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: droopydog 3/19/2019 1:04:48 PM (No. 6067)
Indeed #2. I believe this is a "premature leak" of a story meant for April 1st.
32 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: columba 3/19/2019 1:06:45 PM (No. 6091)
Can I take a shower first?
17 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: TexasHillCountry 3/19/2019 1:06:50 PM (No. 6090)
WCNC must be the latest manner of spelling Onion.
15 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: Nimby 3/19/2019 1:08:41 PM (No. 6120)
What is with the democrats´ fascination with body fluids?
31 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: PlayItAgain 3/19/2019 1:08:48 PM (No. 6088)
Debate the bill!!

Force them to withdraw!
42 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: Vaquero45 3/19/2019 1:11:18 PM (No. 6113)
All the Democrats in America have lost their minds.
46 people like this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: earlybird 3/19/2019 1:11:31 PM (No. 6077)
OK, dear friends and not so. No more slams about California. None. Craziness is everywhere. It wears a (D) after its name.

Peaches and pecans are fruits and nuts, too...
76 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: Grounded 3/19/2019 1:13:27 PM (No. 6071)
It says release of sperm. There nothing that indicates that the release has anything to do with heterosexual coitus. It seems that homosexual sex acts and solitary acts of onanism are included. Does one call 911 to report sperm spillage? A special hotline?
52 people like this.

Reply 12 - Posted by: OldBuffalo 3/19/2019 1:15:57 PM (No. 6094)
Huh? Does this include, uh, Private Time?
21 people like this.

Reply 13 - Posted by: jc96 3/19/2019 1:18:43 PM (No. 6089)
and after a vasectomy?
21 people like this.

Reply 14 - Posted by: Edgelady 3/19/2019 1:19:48 PM (No. 6116)
Author of bill is comparing to abortion bill - totally crazy.
25 people like this.

Reply 15 - Posted by: DVC 3/19/2019 1:32:57 PM (No. 6106)
Insanity.
10 people like this.

Reply 16 - Posted by: zephyrgirl 3/19/2019 1:33:52 PM (No. 6080)
#1 - I can see every high school/college prankster having a field day with this requirement - calling every hour or so.
57 people like this.

Reply 17 - Posted by: velirotta 3/19/2019 1:42:33 PM (No. 6111)
#8, if they withdraw it, will they have to report it?
42 people like this.

Reply 18 - Posted by: Clinger 3/19/2019 1:42:45 PM (No. 6068)
Aren´t they cute.

What if they happen to feel like a woman at the magic moment?

This conflating of a woman´s right to do what she wishes to her own body with killing another person in the process is ridiculous.

My right to do as I wish with my own body ends when my fist lands on your nose.

Sorry that baby is another person and the fact that certain activities can result in accepting responsibility for another person isn´t exactly a secret.


35 people like this.

Reply 19 - Posted by: snowoutlaw 3/19/2019 1:48:00 PM (No. 6072)
Same bill should require women to submit to any and all propositions or be fined.
12 people like this.

Reply 20 - Posted by: tip35c 3/19/2019 1:48:24 PM (No. 6092)
So, one report for every single sperm cell? Mischievous minds want to know..
12 people like this.

Reply 21 - Posted by: dwa 3/19/2019 1:49:34 PM (No. 6105)
This just shows you the stupidity of some women: first to even consider such a bill and put it forward; and second, to equate abortion with ejaculation. There is no idea that is too stupid for Democrats.
56 people like this.

Reply 22 - Posted by: Newtsche 3/19/2019 1:52:23 PM (No. 6083)
A response to the heartbeat abortion bill.

"..it is meant to call attention to the ´absurd´ double standard women are being held to."

Grandstanding jackassery, adding to #3´s second thoughts.
21 people like this.

Reply 23 - Posted by: bighambone 3/19/2019 1:53:59 PM (No. 6118)
One thing is for sure, if this ludicrous proposal becomes the law in Georgia, law abiding homosexual couples will be required to make twice the number of reports than law abiding heterosexual couples would be required to make, so it appears that the dark age politicians who are supporting this measure would actually be the root of more desperate discrimination against gay couples.
32 people like this.

Reply 24 - Posted by: padiva 3/19/2019 1:59:05 PM (No. 6119)
Can you imagine the civil service test for this line of work?
14 people like this.

Reply 25 - Posted by: PChristopher 3/19/2019 1:59:06 PM (No. 6099)
Whoever proposed this should be stoned out of town.
25 people like this.

Reply 26 - Posted by: cactus 3/19/2019 2:03:18 PM (No. 6075)
Wonder how many new law enforcement officers will be hired in Georgia as a result of this bill. I´d be interested in hearing what the titles will be and how much they´ll be paid. This could get really interesting!
13 people like this.

Reply 27 - Posted by: chance_232 3/19/2019 2:07:20 PM (No. 6122)
Ill agree to the terms with the following amendment. All abortions must be reported to local law enforcement.

Two can play this game......
11 people like this.

Reply 28 - Posted by: Kazaland 3/19/2019 2:25:15 PM (No. 6097)
Does a woman have to be involved? Just sayin´.
12 people like this.

Reply 29 - Posted by: BarryNo 3/19/2019 2:29:02 PM (No. 6069)
Actual equivalency would require women only report their orgasms, not their abortions. Child-bearing is something no man can duplicate.

If they are going to set equivelencies, they might require men to submit a police report every time they kill someone...

..and actually, they are required to do so (it´s called turning yourself in, or confessing) so... gals should be held to the same standard.
22 people like this.

Reply 30 - Posted by: Obviousity 3/19/2019 2:40:24 PM (No. 6070)
IIRC: sperm is released somewhat continuously from the testicles and accumulates in a reservoir from which it is released at the moment of inevitability.

and further a cold shower may interrupt the normal progression of events and reporting to a HOT LINE may be counter productive.
12 people like this.

Reply 31 - Posted by: ONEPATRIOT 3/19/2019 2:56:43 PM (No. 6074)
Honey, who ya callen??
The Cops.
Oh, geez, was I that bad???
25 people like this.

Reply 32 - Posted by: Strike3 3/19/2019 3:15:30 PM (No. 6087)
There used to be an old joke about micro-managing bosses who recorded every time you visited the bathroom. This is worse.
12 people like this.

Reply 33 - Posted by: Nevadadad46 3/19/2019 3:24:58 PM (No. 6095)
It´s a garbage bill introduced as sarcasm.
16 people like this.

Reply 34 - Posted by: thatsomewhereplace 3/19/2019 3:29:10 PM (No. 6102)
Just capture a "sperm donation" from a breeding dog, horse or pig. Turn it in and see what happens.
11 people like this.

Reply 35 - Posted by: mc squared 3/19/2019 3:31:03 PM (No. 6108)
I want to see the shoulder patches on the Sperm Police uniforms.
20 people like this.

Reply 36 - Posted by: GO3 3/19/2019 3:53:38 PM (No. 6081)
Why only those over 55? I don’t want to hazard a guess because it would be even more ridiculous than the proposal itself.
10 people like this.

Reply 37 - Posted by: hisself 3/19/2019 3:56:06 PM (No. 6104)

Who ya gonna call??
17 people like this.

Reply 38 - Posted by: LC Chihuahua 3/19/2019 4:17:00 PM (No. 6096)
Unenforceable.

Why do the people of the United States persist in electing stupid people? Everyone of the ´representatives´ should be kicked next election if not sooner.
11 people like this.

Reply 39 - Posted by: bad-hair 3/19/2019 4:28:22 PM (No. 6098)
9 1 1 … what is the nature of your emergency?

Does this require corroboration?
16 people like this.

Reply 40 - Posted by: LanceLink1 3/19/2019 4:28:54 PM (No. 6093)
Relax everybody. If you understand the article this bill was never going to be voted on but was put forth to prove a point. A feminist point but a point none the less.

It only proves the word "diversity" is meaningless to the left when all members are feminine.
10 people like this.

Reply 41 - Posted by: RUReadyY3K 3/19/2019 4:29:19 PM (No. 6109)
Maybe there should be a tax on this and public disclosure on the top taxpayers. Might raise a lot of revenue this way.
11 people like this.

Reply 42 - Posted by: Ruler of the Elves 3/19/2019 4:48:36 PM (No. 6086)
I need to make a report to the ejaculatory officer. No, the sperm was not released but he did escape despite my best efforts. I even used secondary containment. You´re welcome ma´am. Happy to cooperate. I know this is my sixth call today. Sorry. No. I will not go out with you.
8 people like this.

Reply 43 - Posted by: FleetUSA 3/19/2019 4:49:19 PM (No. 6110)
Government has so little to do....
13 people like this.

Reply 44 - Posted by: Ruler of the Elves 3/19/2019 4:50:14 PM (No. 6082)
Really. I know it´s my sixth call toady. No. it is not a prank.
11 people like this.

Reply 45 - Posted by: Amereagle-redux 3/19/2019 4:58:32 PM (No. 6084)
What the ... ???
11 people like this.

Reply 46 - Posted by: Tennman 3/19/2019 5:11:24 PM (No. 6115)
Same people who want "government out of the bedroom"?

Thought so.
15 people like this.

Reply 47 - Posted by: Pepper Tree 3/19/2019 5:52:50 PM (No. 6100)
Dar´Shun Kendrick looks like one of them sistas caught on video fist fighting down in Miami yesterday.
14 people like this.

Reply 48 - Posted by: BigGeorgeTX 3/19/2019 6:18:54 PM (No. 6085)
They obviously hope to prevent blindness in senior citizens.
15 people like this.

Reply 49 - Posted by: ladychatalie 3/19/2019 6:28:13 PM (No. 6101)
Whoever proposed this bill in Georgia should be investigated. They are obviously preparing for an insanity defense for some illegal act they have already committed.
8 people like this.

Reply 50 - Posted by: chumley 3/19/2019 6:49:15 PM (No. 6107)
Call the sheriff? Hell, I´m calling everyone I know.
11 people like this.

Reply 51 - Posted by: MeiDei 3/19/2019 6:49:28 PM (No. 6073)
Only men over 50?
With or without Viagra?
The Ladies Quilting Club looking for action?

Just something silly to latch onto and tie it to the abortion/heartbeat controversy.
10 people like this.

Reply 52 - Posted by: MickTurn 3/19/2019 8:02:18 PM (No. 6103)
I guess someone in the crowd is a squirt.
15 people like this.

Reply 53 - Posted by: slab 3/19/2019 8:59:43 PM (No. 6121)
I just stopped by for the comments. I wasn´t disappointed.
I´m thinking there´s a way to monetize this. Maybe a tax and accounting service.
Jack,son-Spew it. What do you think?
I hope I don´t get banned.
12 people like this.

Reply 54 - Posted by: john56 3/19/2019 10:22:23 PM (No. 6117)
Age Discrimination!

Why are those of us who by the un-controlled action of the date of our birth (Age 55 or older) required to report under this law?

All those young-uns-- 54 year olds -- are getting away with flaunting the law!
15 people like this.

Reply 55 - Posted by: XCenturion 3/19/2019 11:17:12 PM (No. 6078)
Hey Monica do you think Bill Clinton would ever support this legislation? I didn´t think so. These gals need to quit jerking us around.
8 people like this.

Reply 56 - Posted by: LaVallette 3/20/2019 5:59:47 AM (No. 6079)
And ALL women of child bearing age must report to the police each time they menstruate since the process involves the expulsion of an unfertilized ovum
6 people like this.

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ATLANTA — A two-line proposed bill would require men to report "certain events" of a sexual nature to law enforcement. HB 604 would amend Chapter 1 of Title 35 of the Official Code of Georgia so that "any male 55 years of age or older shall immediately report to the county sheriff or local law enforcement agency when such male releases sperm from his testicles."
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