Commentary: I was adopted. 'Disclosure’ raises
new questions about ‘closure.’
Chicago Tribune,
by
Dennis Hetzel
Original Article
Posted By: Ledwith,
1/11/2020 10:37:00 AM
Late in 1951, Marguerite Dargan, a bright, lively 19-year-old woman from Rock Island, got pregnant.
The father, Sherman Dutch, was a Jewish man and a decorated Air Force veteran who took part in D-Day. He returned home to Madison, Wisconsin, after the war to get his accounting degree and start a career. He probably met Marguerite when she boarded and babysat at the nearby home of his sister and brother-in-law. After Marguerite learned she was pregnant, her family sent her to Chicago to stay with her grandparents.
Reply 1 - Posted by:
earlybird 1/11/2020 10:46:34 AM (No. 285430)
Mr. Hetzel cannot get inside his birth mother’s head, no matter how much he would like to. He has found out about his history. He should be grateful to his mother for giving him life and to the Hetzels for giving him a life. Was it really kind for him to publicize his birth mother and her situation this way? I don’t believe so.
27 people like this.
Reply 2 - Posted by:
Moritz55 1/11/2020 10:50:06 AM (No. 285437)
Thank you for sharing, OP.
2 people like this.
Reply 3 - Posted by:
Skeptical1 1/11/2020 11:14:48 AM (No. 285475)
"My surprising discovery that I’m half Jewish pulls hard on my psyche...". That seems a little overwrought, doesn't it?
21 people like this.
Reply 4 - Posted by:
bad-hair 1/11/2020 11:36:58 AM (No. 285503)
Sorry kiddo. Nobody is half Jewish. Take it or leave it.
10 people like this.
Reply 5 - Posted by:
Pook60 1/11/2020 11:41:02 AM (No. 285507)
So, I guess ‘’free love’’ is a myth. If you engage in sexual behavior, pregnancy is a possibility and somebody is going to be impacted. I’m not advocating slut-shaming, but it’s preferable to a Hollywood abortion braggart. At least Mr. Hetzel got to live, breathe and experience a hard pull on his psyche.
11 people like this.
Reply 6 - Posted by:
spacer 1/11/2020 1:51:45 PM (No. 285601)
Sorry OP...a person working at the VP level in the abortion business would not weep for a dead baby or a wounded mother.
7 people like this.
Reply 7 - Posted by:
judy 1/11/2020 2:13:58 PM (No. 285617)
Back then there was no child support, legal abortion or DNA. If a man said the baby is not mine that was it. Bobby Darin found out later in life his Mother pretended to be his sister, Loretta Young had Clark Gabel's baby & set it as an adoption....Sealed records work both ways, they should not be made public unless both parties agree. Mr Hetzel, be happy you're alive & you had a good family.
7 people like this.
Reply 8 - Posted by:
gramma b 1/11/2020 2:17:46 PM (No. 285622)
He is "angry" and all self-righteous about the way that unwed motherhood was treated in the 1950's. But, there was a lot less of it then, wasn't there?
5 people like this.
Reply 9 - Posted by:
earlybird 1/11/2020 2:24:26 PM (No. 285626)
Re #8, not so sure about that. And this guy had been in the military. In the Korean War era - as in other similar eras - anyone who had gone to war had a certain cachet. In this case, she lived in the home of his relatives, where she was also a babysitter. She was 19; he had to be somewhat older based upon time hints mentioned.
I knew of one fellow student - prominent in all school activities - who later bragged of having more than one abortion. Another student - a lovely girl - lived with her mother and a baby her mother had “adopted”. Everyone had a pretty good idea of what this was about. Kindness of friends prevailed.
There was no internet back then so the gossip mill was not on websites like this one and others… There was far more privacy.
6 people like this.
Reply 10 - Posted by:
earlybird 1/11/2020 2:28:23 PM (No. 285633)
Re #9, hit submit too soon.
There was also private placement adoption which allowed adoption of the child of an unmarried young girl without running her and her child through any sort of institutional or governmental agency. Friends of ours adopted two babies (at different times) via a home for unwed mothers in Texas.
8 people like this.
Reply 11 - Posted by:
bad-hair 1/11/2020 2:43:54 PM (No. 285649)
Look at the bright side You might have been adopted by president Buttgig and first husband Chasten. Then you'd be even more screwed up than Chelsea Clinton if that's possible.
5 people like this.
Reply 12 - Posted by:
Vaquero45 1/11/2020 2:45:44 PM (No. 285650)
The author was able to find the record of his birth mother and biological father, for which he should be grateful. That doesn’t mean he should have told the rest of the world about it. I’m sure he wondered “where did I really come from?” all the time he was growing up, but he should have respected the privacy of everyone else involved.
There was no need to be indignant about the way things were done in the 50’s and 60’s. As one poster pointed out, there was a lot less illegitimacy back then; stigma and shame do wonders in correcting behavior patterns that seem out of control in modern times. I was in high school in the 60’s, and I remember a couple of girls who went to live with their out-of-state relatives for a few months...
8 people like this.
Reply 13 - Posted by:
columba 1/11/2020 4:00:47 PM (No. 285704)
This orignal article persuades the reader to think of sexual purity as wrong.
2 people like this.
Reply 14 - Posted by:
red1066 1/11/2020 5:52:12 PM (No. 285765)
My twin sister and I were adopted at one day of age. The adoption was made possible by the Methodist Church. My sister did one of those DNA tests and we found out that our birth mother was a Mennonite. My sister met our birth mother's sister and her husband, as well as our birth father's nephew. We found out that our birth father was a womanizer who, (according to the nephew) was with a different woman each week and who lived with his father. We were told the father our grandfather paid the hospital bills for our birth mother. I now know how lucky my sister and I were to be adopted by our parents and kept together. I have absolutely no desire to meet anyone from either side of our birth parents. My life turned out just fine with wonderful memories and a load of home movies to prove it.
11 people like this.
Reply 15 - Posted by:
padiva 1/11/2020 9:53:32 PM (No. 285877)
A former co-worker gave birth in 1966 and had to place her son for adoption. About 12 years ago, they reconnected. They don't live near each other now. It's a very happy situation. This man resembles the grandfather who was so angry when he found out his daughter was pregnant.
1 person likes this.
Before we shame all women, some were raped and had no choice. They were au pair or housekeepers back in the day because large families couldn't support all of the children and sent them to work for wealthy families.
0 people like this.
Reply 17 - Posted by:
Lawsy0 1/12/2020 1:00:35 AM (No. 285944)
No, I don't believe it is overwrought to wonder. Spirituality is part of what grounds us. Complete lack of spirituality would be the sad part. Perhaps his birth mother had to give up her faith and beliefs in order to put her child up for adoption.
0 people like this.
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A heartfelt column of a sad story that indicates that 'abortion without consequences' is never, and has never been the reality of becoming pregnant. Whatever the circumstances, women never forget, and most, I would think, have regret. This woman's story of regret and longing would make even a Planned Parenthood VP weep.