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Man bitten by neighbor’s escaped
pet python while on toilet, cops say

Original Article

Posted By: Imright, 7/7/2021 4:38:54 PM

A man in Austria was bitten on the genitals by a python while he was on the toilet — after it’s believed the reptile escaped his neighbor’s home and slithered through the drains, police said.The 65-year-old man in Graz was nipped by the 5-foot-plus albino reticulated python about 6 a.m. Monday as he sat down in the bathroom, Reuters reported, citing a statement from police in Styria province.“Shortly after he sat on the toilet the Graz resident — by his own account — felt a ‘pinch’ in the area of his genitals,” police said.The snake, a nonvenomous constrictor native to Asia, can reportedly grow to 29 feet long.

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Reply 1 - Posted by: Pepperpot59 7/7/2021 4:45:33 PM (No. 838705)
Not the best way to start anyone's day!
7 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: Omen55 7/7/2021 4:50:28 PM (No. 838708)
After you read these stories how many of us start to check?🤢
11 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: plaids 7/7/2021 5:46:19 PM (No. 838747)
I always keep the lid down for this reason. I live in south Florida, reptiles abound.
6 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: bad-hair 7/7/2021 5:56:47 PM (No. 838752)
I hear they're quite tasty with enough garlic and fennel in a casserole brought to your neighbor on a pretty dish. Meat balls on the side.
4 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: Rama41 7/7/2021 6:11:44 PM (No. 838758)
#3. I don't think keeping the lid down solves this particular problem.
11 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: Avikingman 7/7/2021 6:25:38 PM (No. 838763)
#4, don't forget a side of fava beans and an off Chianti.
5 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: volksford 7/7/2021 6:26:59 PM (No. 838764)
Oddly enough the Python was named Bobbit
11 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: snakeoil 7/7/2021 6:31:36 PM (No. 838768)
Why was it returned to the owner? Snakes are the reason God invented the hoe.
18 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: JimBob 7/7/2021 6:37:44 PM (No. 838774)
My mind made a jump, and I remembered this story: There was a guy down at the local bar, who had had a few too many beers. He staggered into the restroom, closed the door, then after a while a loud shout- almost a scream, came from the room. After a few seconds there was a second scream. Several people rushed over to the restroom door, which was locked from the inside. “Are you OK?” one guy called through the door. “Every time I go to flush the commode, something comes up and squeezes the heck out of my balls!” was the reply. The bartender, who was standing at the edge of the crowd, then shouted to the man in the restroom. “You dumb@ss, You’re Sitting on the Mop Bucket!”
18 people like this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: Rumblehog 7/7/2021 7:01:26 PM (No. 838793)
This sounds like a Freudian dream sequence...
3 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: ladydawgfan 7/7/2021 7:05:00 PM (No. 838794)
Bit him on his asp??
5 people like this.

Reply 12 - Posted by: Hazymac 7/7/2021 7:09:38 PM (No. 838801)
Reticulated pythons are the longest snakes on earth: up to 33' long. Now that's a snake! The thought of encountering a genitals' gripping retic on the throne id really too horrible to contemplate. Idiot neighbors.
2 people like this.

Reply 13 - Posted by: bpl40 7/7/2021 7:48:43 PM (No. 838826)
This is where I begin to envy females (biological ones, that is).
4 people like this.

Reply 14 - Posted by: harleynyc 7/7/2021 8:44:54 PM (No. 838855)
So, uh, does a Python bite increase the size of, uh, you know...?
1 person likes this.

Reply 15 - Posted by: JHHolliday 7/8/2021 12:56:10 AM (No. 838954)
Oh geez. Every guy reading this just checked his toilet. Actually, my business partner was on the throne one day and felt a nudge in his nether regions...a squirrel had somehow fallen down the sewer pipe and managed to escape up through his toilet bowl.
0 people like this.

Reply 16 - Posted by: Strike3 7/8/2021 3:00:48 AM (No. 838968)
He's lucky it wasn't the Basilisk from Harry Potter.
1 person likes this.

Reply 17 - Posted by: LC Chihuahua 7/8/2021 9:48:46 AM (No. 839163)
One of those one in a million stories where the odds of it happening to you are one in a million. Have heard stories like this in the past, but the snakes were cobras...ugh.
0 people like this.

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