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A letter to our subscribers,
from the New York Times

Original Article

Posted By: StormCnter, 8/7/2019 4:32:26 PM

Dear Valued Subscriber, For a mere $39.99 a month, about what you pay your Guatemalan nanny, you depend on us for thought-provoking personal reassurance, award-winning arrogance, hard-hitting sycophancy, and up-to-the-minute coverage of Orange Man – who is very, very bad. The New York Times remains the world’s most prestigious Viewpoint Validation Service because we understand the crippling emptiness permeating the wealthy liberal soul – we are that emptiness – and you entrust us to make you feel good, smart and worthy every day.


Satire, but good satire.

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Reply 1 - Posted by: Socaworld 8/7/2019 4:43:20 PM (No. 145791)
Been reading the NYT near-daily since 1961. Cancelling this month. Enough is enough. It is a joke of a newspaper.
23 people like this.

Reply 2 - Posted by: chance_232 8/7/2019 5:24:38 PM (No. 145811)
IS it satire? Is it really?
16 people like this.

Reply 3 - Posted by: planetgeo 8/7/2019 5:25:39 PM (No. 145814)
Ouch. That's going to smart. Chadwick Moore (if that's your real name) you better get ready to get doxxed by the Timeshelpers. Maybe even have the Castro twins show up at night and chant threats in Spanglish.
13 people like this.

Reply 4 - Posted by: DanvilleBill 8/7/2019 5:30:40 PM (No. 145818)
Hilarious! Thanks OP!
10 people like this.

Reply 5 - Posted by: MickTurn 8/7/2019 6:13:48 PM (No. 145840)
Slimes, POUND SAND...tons of it!
8 people like this.

Reply 6 - Posted by: couchguy 8/7/2019 6:26:15 PM (No. 145848)
Great article
4 people like this.

Reply 7 - Posted by: NYBruin 8/7/2019 6:28:43 PM (No. 145854)
Even the Sports page is unreadable - unless you love women's soccer.
8 people like this.

Reply 8 - Posted by: tisHimself 8/7/2019 6:41:34 PM (No. 145860)
Good stuff Thanks for posting
5 people like this.

Reply 9 - Posted by: KanCreeper 8/7/2019 6:42:21 PM (No. 145861)
Down thru the years I've bought it....Has been a good thing to have around when serious fishing is going on...Certainly, newswise it is a joke; but reasonably, good, but somewhat fish wrapper. They must have a lot of fish to wrap in Nooooo York?
5 people like this.

Reply 10 - Posted by: LadyHen 8/7/2019 6:53:20 PM (No. 145866)
fta: "The writer was immediately fired. Our interns, known as TimesHelpers, chucked milkshakes at him as he sadly strolled through the lobby with his little NPR tote bag full of desktop knick knacks. Just as he reached the door we unchained Sarah Jeong and watched gleefully as she dismembered and ate him alive." Just rofl! Pitch perfect satire. I wonder if the Snopes basement dweller brigade is busily debunking as we speak.
8 people like this.

Reply 11 - Posted by: bad-hair 8/7/2019 8:58:30 PM (No. 145915)
If something comes up here at the NYT that looks like it might be news, I immediately go to and log in. This is (I'm a cat) purrrrrrfect satire.
3 people like this.

Reply 12 - Posted by: Strike3 8/7/2019 10:21:32 PM (No. 145975)
Very funny and stabs the NYT straight through the heart. I would not be surprised if some of their own writers laugh at this but management has to be furious.
3 people like this.

Reply 13 - Posted by: Lawsy0 8/7/2019 10:22:40 PM (No. 145977)
Funny. It will do until the Bawl Street Journal or the Onion publishes again.
4 people like this.

Reply 14 - Posted by: Wendybird 8/7/2019 10:35:56 PM (No. 145986)
My goodness, do people actually pay that much? And people joke about putting Prozac in the public water supply.
7 people like this.

Reply 15 - Posted by: Trigger2 8/8/2019 2:44:38 AM (No. 146084)
Does the Slimes really charge $40/month? Talk about a complete waste of hard earned money just to get their drivel. The elitists must prop them up with 500 subscriptions apiece.
1 person likes this.

Reply 16 - Posted by: mathman 8/8/2019 7:33:08 AM (No. 146191)
Not funny. Satire must exaggerate to be funny. The bias is so bad that hyperbole is not possible. Oh, well. Nice try.
0 people like this.

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