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50 Ways to Celebrate
Michelle Obama’s Birthday

ABC News, by Staff

Original Article

Posted By:Mike PHX, 1/17/2014 12:18:39 PM

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 today, and although the big White House celebration planned by President Obama isn’t until Saturday, that doesn’t mean you have to wait to celebrate. If your invite to Saturday’s dance party in Washington went missing, here are 50 other ways to honor the first lady on her big day — by doing some of her favorite things, from wearing stylish dresses to eating your veggies to doing the Dougie, preferably with Jimmy Fallon. 1. Dance to Beyonce 2. Eat your vegetables 3. Move into a massive new house with your family and invite your mother to move in

Comments:
Just in case someone here ate poison and needed an emetic.

      


Post Reply  

Reply 1 - Posted by: nimby, 1/17/2014 12:28:27 PM     (No. 9695782)

ABC....How about stop cheerleading?

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Reply 2 - Posted by: Dante, 1/17/2014 12:30:52 PM     (No. 9695789)

Makes about as much sense as the Russians celebrating the anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster.

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R-G1
  
R-VAR_AD


 
Reply 3 - Posted by: The Advocate, 1/17/2014 12:32:44 PM     (No. 9695793)

51. Stop spending Taxpayer money for your personal pleasure.
52. Stop pretending BHO is legitimate as a man, husband and POTUS.

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Reply 4 - Posted by: ZurichMike, 1/17/2014 12:38:13 PM     (No. 9695800)

51. Watch episodes of Sanford & Son and laugh at Aunt Esther.

52. Go to the train yard and look for a caboose bigger than yours.

53. Take a leisurely climb up the Empire State Building and swat airplanes from the sky.

54. Get super-injections of botox in your boobs to even out your figure.

55. Return your teenage daughters´ too-tight twin sets and say "not tight enough for me".

56. Tell your neighbors to eat properly, and then go gorge yourself on lobster.

57. Watch "Star Wars" and compare her walking gait with that of Chewbacca.

58. Clear traffic on the bridge to New Jersey by twerking while walking backwards.

59. Pretend to empower kids with talks about positive body images, and then go on TV and obsess about being 50 and wanting botox.

OK: I know my fellow Ldotters will have more to add to this list!



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Reply 5 - Posted by: suitsoot, 1/17/2014 12:40:06 PM     (No. 9695803)

Watch all of the Sanford and Son´s episodes that featured Aunt Esther.

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Reply 6 - Posted by: Garage Logician, 1/17/2014 12:43:24 PM     (No. 9695808)

I´m going to draw eyebrows on with a Magic Marker.

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Reply 7 - Posted by: BaseballFan, 1/17/2014 12:49:26 PM     (No. 9695814)

I´ll "celebrate" by never darkening door of ABCNews (sic) again. And that goes for their advertisers, too.



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Reply 8 - Posted by: glcinpdx, 1/17/2014 12:53:10 PM     (No. 9695820)

This might be the Kneepad Rumpswabian article of the decade...

A great substitute for ipecac. Though the comments after the article are quite funny...

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Reply 9 - Posted by: TakeBackAmerica, 1/17/2014 1:16:42 PM     (No. 9695851)

61: How´s that divorce going?

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Reply 10 - Posted by: Southron, 1/17/2014 1:19:22 PM     (No. 9695856)

Wel, she did promise the Democratic power people that she would not leave Zero while he was still in office.

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Reply 11 - Posted by: bad-hair, 1/17/2014 1:21:51 PM     (No. 9695857)

Texas Gonna dress in a wookie suit and go knock on Shiela Jackson Lee´s door.

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Reply 12 - Posted by: farmwife, 1/17/2014 1:31:06 PM     (No. 9695874)

It is presumptuous to presume we have any interest in celebrating anything about Michelle Obama.

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Reply 13 - Posted by: beca, 1/17/2014 1:32:09 PM     (No. 9695875)

ABC you are disgusting...you wouldnt know REAL NEWS if it knocked you down...i dont care about this womans birthday......we´ve paid for her lavish lifestyle for going on 6 years......frankly i dont give a damn>>>>>!!

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Reply 14 - Posted by: Grady, 1/17/2014 1:41:26 PM     (No. 9695889)

Don´t forget #65,
Eat lobster and watch reruns of video surveillance of
4 Americans in Benghazi being slaughtered.

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Reply 15 - Posted by: Freeloader, 1/17/2014 1:45:01 PM     (No. 9695898)

-Cook up some collard greens, oxtails, pork jowls, chitlins and skillet cornbread.

-Watch the "Bigfoot" DVD again.

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Reply 16 - Posted by: provide, 1/17/2014 2:01:13 PM     (No. 9695908)

Hang replica "First Date" bronze plaque from Chicago over dog´s bed.

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Reply 17 - Posted by: PChristopher, 1/17/2014 2:13:56 PM     (No. 9695925)

#66...Give her a free trip to Hawaii with only half the fuel the plane needs.

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R_DBL_B
  


 
Reply 18 - Posted by: chumley, 1/17/2014 2:19:49 PM     (No. 9695932)

I already celebrated. Then I flushed.

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Reply 19 - Posted by: rambo77, 1/17/2014 2:24:39 PM     (No. 9695939)

I´d like to fix her a big dish of chillins, all puckers, and after she´s into them, tell her what they are. grin!!

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Reply 20 - Posted by: jinx, 1/17/2014 2:25:59 PM     (No. 9695940)

And Michelle´s 50th birthday is a cause for us to celebrate? I don´t think so. She has cost us millions of our hard earned dollars. We have already given her a birthday present. In fact, we paid for her extended vacation that she just returned from.

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Reply 21 - Posted by: JudithC, 1/17/2014 2:27:07 PM     (No. 9695945)

Zurich Mike #4 has me laughing so hard I´m crying. Can´t compete with this good stuff that is a perfect picture of the ugliest woman in the world. My daughter got herself on the insider RAT list and gets all the trash they send to all the Obama commie loving fans, all demonRATs, all American traitors, muslims, deadbeats, those who love grifting and think it should be a perk for presidents, and anyone else they can include. Right now they´re in overdrive working to get people to send birthday wishes to to hog woman. Too bad all posters can´t see the picture on the Mooch card with her six inch teeth, the Westminster kennel look she favored with bangs hanging to her chin, and the sly grin on jug ears face sneaking a sideways look. Don´t check it out without a barf bucket handy.

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Reply 22 - Posted by: PAdiva, 1/17/2014 2:31:16 PM     (No. 9695953)

51 Get a strawberry milkshake at McD´s
52 Hire a fashion consultant.
53. Make sure the career WH staff isn´t laughing at you behind your back.
54 Ask the USA citizens to send YOU more money.
55. Make other people weed the WH garden
56. Constantly check the mirror to see if you have a beard-like appearance.
57 Let teenage daughter and many of her friends go to a foreign country on spring break with the Secret Service as chaperones.
58 Think that you should be the next POTUS because you know that the current POTUS is a fraud.


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Reply 23 - Posted by: qr4j, 1/17/2014 2:32:15 PM     (No. 9695956)

ABC´s headline should come with a barf alert.

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Reply 24 - Posted by: PAdiva, 1/17/2014 2:39:03 PM     (No. 9695967)

59.Write a highly opinionated Senior thesis while at Princeton University.


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Reply 25 - Posted by: Garage Logician, 1/17/2014 2:47:53 PM     (No. 9695976)

Gonna get me a big old Hercules belt and wear it just below my moobs.

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Reply 26 - Posted by: Wetlandz, 1/17/2014 3:41:12 PM     (No. 9696018)

There are no words.

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Reply 27 - Posted by: DaBigGuy, 1/17/2014 4:01:58 PM     (No. 9696040)

I would rather hear Paul Simon sing "50 Ways To Leave the White House." On her own dime, for a change. And don´t come back.

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Reply 28 - Posted by: Udanja99, 1/17/2014 4:28:12 PM     (No. 9696070)

I´d rather be disemboweled with a teaspoon than celebrate anything about that fugly beast.

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Reply 29 - Posted by: earlybird, 1/17/2014 5:06:51 PM     (No. 9696106)

Go into a private place and throw up.

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Reply 30 - Posted by: earlybird, 1/17/2014 5:09:33 PM     (No. 9696110)

#19 wins Subtly Funniest Post of the Day.

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Reply 31 - Posted by: Mai Bad, 1/17/2014 5:10:54 PM     (No. 9696113)

Yo..yo..."Doing the Dougie"? Is that the special sandwich at the Manassas Sports Pub that is about a pound of kielbasa with about a half pound of pastrami and cheese on top? Mooch looks like she does the "Dougie" every day, if gauged by the size of her butt!

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Reply 32 - Posted by: Videodrone, 1/17/2014 5:18:46 PM     (No. 9696125)

thankfully I´ve learned to swallow before hitting "Page Down" but #19 almost got me!

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Reply 33 - Posted by: Hotrod, 1/17/2014 5:22:33 PM     (No. 9696128)

Invite that blonde Scandanavian chick that Barry was firting with at Mandela´s service?

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Reply 34 - Posted by: BeatleJeff, 1/17/2014 5:28:07 PM     (No. 9696131)

#51 - Use her picture as a dart board.

#52 - For the first time in your life, be ashamed of your country.

#53 - Flip the bird as you drive past the White House.

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Reply 35 - Posted by: TXknitter, 1/17/2014 6:23:38 PM     (No. 9696183)

"Cheerleading" is the right word. FNC has been joining in all day!!!! Barfarama.

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Reply 36 - Posted by: ColonialAmerican1623, 1/18/2014 12:08:24 AM     (No. 9696468)

Should have stayed at the big O´s in Maui and celebrated there on her dime.

She´s baaaack. It will be nonstop for at least six months.

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Reply 37 - Posted by: strike3, 1/18/2014 9:41:23 AM     (No. 9696783)

Even if her husband were the Best President Ever, this harpy does not have the right to spend the money of US taxpayers like she somehow earned it. She did not. Everything she does is dictatorial abuse of power, just like the daily conduct of her jug-eared roommate. Articles like this are gag-inducing worship of a couple of third world witch doctors.

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American Thinker, by Rick Moran    Original Article
Posted By: JoniTx- 4/16/2014 1:36:54 PM     Post Reply
The cash infusion by the federal government is actually going to help the city pay pensions, even though they´re playing a kind of shell game with the money. As for "blight removal," perhaps they could start with city hall. Reuters: Michigan officials and President Barack Obama´s Administration are discussing a plan to free up $100 million in federal money to aid Detroit´s retired city workers, the Detroit Free Press reported on Tuesday. Citing two people familiar with the talks, the newspaper said the talks were centered around federal money flowing to Michigan for blight removal. Under the plan, $100 million

Michael Bloomberg: ´I Have Earned
My Place in Heaven´

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The Weekly Standard, by Daniel Halper    Original Article
Posted By: Bill the Cat- 4/16/2014 9:15:28 AM     Post Reply
Former New York City mayor is pledging to spend $50 million this year to push gun control, the New York Times reports. For this and other deeds (such as taking on obesity and smoking), Bloomberg believes he´s going to heaven. “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close,” Bloomberg told the Times.

Climate change causing fish to
lose their minds, researchers say

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Washington Times, by Cheryl K. Chumley    Original Article
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 4/16/2014 1:35:05 PM     Post Reply
Climate change’s latest casualty appears to be fish — or more specifically, fish brains — as researchers say the carbon dioxide that’s being absorbed into the ocean is causing the scaly creatures to lose their survival instincts. In other words, the fish are losing their minds, The Daily Mail reported. The acid from atmospheric carbon dioxide seeps into sea waters, dissolves and ultimately lowers the pH balance, researchers said. The acidic waters then hamper the fishes’ sensory systems, so they’re not able to distinguish between smells any longer, the scientists went on. When the acid levels get really high, the fish lose their


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