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O.J. Simpson Caught Stealing
Cookies From Prison Cafeteria

Fox News, by Alan Colmes

Original Article

Posted By:Hazymac, 9/26/2013 3:40:49 PM

The now-portly once-gridiron great was caught doing something that is strictly forbidden at the prison that he now calls home. When guards saw him hiding something under his prison outfit, he revealed a stash of oatmeal cookies. O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor,’ the source told The National Enquirer… ‘The temptation of the cookies in the prison chow line was too much for him, the source said. At first, his fellow prisoners thought he had smuggled in a cell

Comments:
Not exactly the biggest story of the day, this report is for those who are amused by the karma debt this one time superstar took on when he committed two murders, but went to prison for strong-armed robbery of sports memorabilia. In the non-pornographic part of his 1996 "X-rated video" that made the news, seeing him lumbering along in his Speedo-style skivvies, cellulite hanging out from everywhere, ready for a horizontal session with a hired Playboy Playmate was pukeworthy. And to think that most of us used to treasure this guy prior to 1994.

Author's name added by staff.

      


Post Reply  

Reply 1 - Posted by: Blue-Z-Anna, 9/26/2013 4:05:17 PM     (No. 9538273)

If they were those really good oatmeal cookies like my grandma used to make then I can forgive him. But carving up those harmless white folks is still a karma debt that will cut badly into his handicap in the next life.

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Reply 2 - Posted by: veritas, 9/26/2013 4:05:45 PM     (No. 9538274)

OP: good comments.

Let me restate the main point in this -- what he lost, everything he lost, he threw away.

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Reply 3 - Posted by: lil dotty, 9/26/2013 4:11:10 PM     (No. 9538280)

Apparently, he wants his cookies any way he can get them.
"Who´s got milk?"

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Reply 4 - Posted by: Calico Al, 9/26/2013 4:15:23 PM     (No. 9538295)

Now comes endorsments for oatmeal cookies.

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Reply 5 - Posted by: skedaddle, 9/26/2013 4:18:34 PM     (No. 9538299)

The only unsatisfying part of this story is the guard letting him off.

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Reply 6 - Posted by: bobn.t, 9/26/2013 4:23:08 PM     (No. 9538304)

I´m surprised that he hasn´t been killed.

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Reply 7 - Posted by: dipi, 9/26/2013 4:23:24 PM     (No. 9538305)

So that is how he has picked up more pounds.

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Reply 8 - Posted by: catfur27, 9/26/2013 4:27:02 PM     (No. 9538308)

..not surprisingly, he claimed they were "..his cookies"...and he was just "..taking them back."

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Reply 9 - Posted by: SpeedMaster, 9/26/2013 4:32:33 PM     (No. 9538317)

Years ago I saw him at Cincinnati Riverfront Stadium when he was in his prime, he ran all over the bungles (197 yds?) and the Bills still lost.

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Reply 10 - Posted by: SouthSanAntonio, 9/26/2013 4:47:50 PM     (No. 9538333)

I´m sure Nichole and Ron would be happy to trade places with him about now...

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Reply 11 - Posted by: harleynyc, 9/26/2013 4:52:07 PM     (No. 9538336)

Who remembers Gaucho´s ? Those were worth going to jail for.

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Reply 12 - Posted by: SoCalGal, 9/26/2013 5:11:12 PM     (No. 9538360)

He should have been executed for First Degree Homicide.

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Reply 13 - Posted by: TOOTALL, 9/26/2013 5:43:02 PM     (No. 9538391)

Fight on, for old SC!

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Reply 14 - Posted by: ocjim, 9/26/2013 5:53:08 PM     (No. 9538406)

Orenthal Simpson would be just a pathetic wreck of a man if he weren´t a malignant vicious killer. In the end, karma tripped this arrogant devil up, much to his disbelief. The Greeks called it Nemesis, I believe.

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Reply 15 - Posted by: ocjim, 9/26/2013 6:03:19 PM     (No. 9538423)

#1, It is an age old tale of jealousy, rage and murder. Color had nothing to do with those carvings. Why the gratuitous mention?

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Reply 16 - Posted by: Bohallx, 9/26/2013 6:33:52 PM     (No. 9538456)

I would pay good money to see his brother, Barak Obama, stuffing cookies in his shirt.

You see, if Obama had a real brother, he´d look like OJ!

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Reply 17 - Posted by: cube, 9/26/2013 6:43:48 PM     (No. 9538468)

OJ loved those cookies so much, he didn´t wan´t anyone else to eat them.

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Reply 18 - Posted by: cube, 9/26/2013 6:50:26 PM     (No. 9538474)

#14 I believe the Greeks called the ´fatal flaw´ of an individual "hamartia" the heroe´s tragic flaw. Hubris is a big one, but not the only one.

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Reply 19 - Posted by: Blue hen1, 9/26/2013 7:17:28 PM     (No. 9538513)

If the cookie sheet doesn´t fit you must aquit

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Reply 20 - Posted by: nwcudagal, 9/26/2013 8:42:24 PM     (No. 9538609)

A worthy article for Horseface.

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Reply 21 - Posted by: ColonialAmerican1623, 9/26/2013 10:53:13 PM     (No. 9538743)

Sad when a person gets into more trouble for stealing cookies than knifing two people.


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Reply 22 - Posted by: Charactercounts, 9/27/2013 2:16:59 AM     (No. 9538881)

#6, he´s a big man in prison, doubt anyone´s going to be killing him.

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Reply 23 - Posted by: 4Justice, 9/30/2013 4:56:29 PM     (No. 9543683)

#13...you mean "USC, the best football team money can buy!" -- Bruin Forever (heh heh)...(but to be honest, I did go to ´SC for grad school...)

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