Sideways?

"I hate when that happens!" ... forgot to add...

Someone in Africa was wearing a condom? Now that´s really news!

Well, condoms saves lives, ya know.

#3-- hey, and you thought the millions and billions of $ American taxpayers throw overseas goes to waste....

At least he didn´t listen to the Vatican

At least they were practicing "safe sex."

Too bad the condom package didn´t have a "Make sure there are no lions in the immediate area" warning.

Maybe they can sue?

I guess that puts a fresh light on the old saying, "when you see a lion charging, you don´t need to run faster than the lion, you just need to run faster than your girlfriend!"

#6 ... if they had listened, she´d be live today.

Sounds like a city councilman from San Antonio Tx back in the 80´s...he was doing the deed with his secretary (he was married of course), the car was attacked by a gang, he somehow ran away and she was...abused.

The story got out and he moved to another city. I doubt they knew his character, he´s now a "Lawyer"...which says a lot.

Trojan Man could have shown up in the nick of time...
but his white charger had recently been turned into horse meat...
due to the sequester.

great comment #4

Too bad zippys dad wasn´t wearing one.

I dont know whether to sing "Cat Scatch Fever" or repeat the old line about "Do what you want to the girl but leave me alone."

I think the boyfriend is lion about what happened.

Wow. And I though bringing in a sheep was kinky.

Remember this old hit tune, originally recorded in Zulu and later popularized by Pete Seeger and The Weavers?´

"Hush, my darling, don´t fear, my darling...the lion sleeps tonight...A weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh."

Be careful where your lyin´ or you might meet a lion.

That´s how I want to go.

Perhaps he was wearing one of those new "lion-icide" condoms.

Wonder if this wench was screaming "Yes!" "Yes!", when the lion was attracted to same and obliged her with a fatal bite to her neck? At least she went out being satisfied, hopefully?

want safe sex, wear a helmet...

Maybe to that lion they looked like a double cheeseburger, or a humpback whale....

#7, apparently the condom instructions did contain an "Escape Claws" ....

Something similar happened when a senate lion tried a waitress sandwich...

aka a "Zimbabwe Threeway"

I had to read what all of you are saying and you did not let me down. My laughs for the day!!! Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya!!!!

Since nobody else has written it, I will. This thread is punny.

Well, it appears that Jason Voorhees wasn´t the only character with a rather strong aversion to fornication. At least the lion didn´t run Sharai through with a pitchfork and leave her hanging on a barn door. Poor, poor girl.

Concerning her paramour´s escape wearing only a condom, I know how he feels. During a 1977 trip to Kenya we spent several days in a tent village in Amboseli National Park just a short distance north of Mount Kilimanjaro´s imposing bulk. Our dining hall was about a mile north of our camp, but our guides wouldn´t let us walk back and forth. The first night we were there one of the Masai natives walking the road between our encampment and his nearby village was attacked and eaten by a lion. His mostly consumed body was discovered about four hundred meters from my tent. All we had to protect ourselves was the mosquito netting over the entrances to our tents; we were much easier prey than the local herds of wildebeasts. Sleep in Amboseli was fitful, to say the least.

I saw this earlier and started to post it but was afraid it would get closed in about two seconds.

Apparently, Simba look for strange kitty too.

There´s a "two in the bush" joke in here somewhere, but I´m sure not posting it.

In the immortal words of Jay Leno to Hugh Grant..."what on earth were you thinking???"

I guess this explains how the "missionary position" came to be. Natives knew not to get on top in lion country. (sorry, couldn´t resist)

I guess chivalry is dead! I always thought that the man was supposed to protect his woman. Oh well...

It is too bad that they had to kill that whole pride that kept attacking that village. Lions are becoming endangered because of canine distemper from hyenas and jackels. Anyway, it is hard to blame them for hunting. Kitty needs to eat too.

#28, I took the plunge after discovering through "Search" that no one else had.
It was too much to resist.

As is the following...

Obama, with his African heritage, warned us that terrible things would happen under the
sequester.
Seems he was right.

Speaking of Kenya, back in the 1950´s, a Zimbabwe Threeway was known there and
world-wide as The Nairobi Trio.

Further details have been provided now...
The perpetrating beast has been identified as...
Taralong The Dotted Lion.
Local authorities confirm that he remains a threat to condoms and condom-wearers
throughout the region.

Which brings forth the additional observation...
Instead of latex, the gentleman may want to try next time a Timex Condom...
"Takes a licking and keeps on (x)icking... "

Ecstasy to Agony - sounds like a movie title. Awful story.

Maybe Mr. Lion just wanted to get a little on the side too...
or was that a side to go with Sharai...

Nut screws and bolts.

Well, so much for "safe sex." and chivalry.

Old story. Two people are being chased by a lion. One turns to the other and asks if they can outrun the beast. The reply? I only have to outrun you.

What a cad! He didn´t bring protection for both if them.

When I first saw this I thought there has to be a joke in here somewhere. I think the posters satisfied that need. I´m sure there will be more circulated around the net. Made my day.

She was on the wrong side - again.

I hate that I laughed at these posts. Poor woman.

And, I´m sorry to say that I was so ignorant that I slept soundly while at Amboseli in ´82. We had guards with rifles who walked us back to our tents and I still didn´t really get the danger aspect. But, I always wear Charlie cologne and I doubt if any lion would have wanted to chomp on me.

I foresee the appropriate goobermint agency which requires product warnings to issue an immediate directive requiring condom packages to be stamped with "beware of roaming lions".

Chappaquiddick.