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Zimbabwe: Lion Mauls Woman to
Death While She has Sex with Lover

International Business Times [UK], by Hannah Osborne

Original Article

Posted By:Rafter, 3/6/2013 3:15:38 PM

A lion killed a woman while she was having sex in the bush with her boyfriend, reports have emerged. He managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom. The woman, identified as Sharai Mawera, was mauled to death in the attack in Mahombekombe, Kariba in Zimbabwe. She was severely injured in her neck and stomach. Her boyfriend, a fisherman who was not identified, heard the lion roar, MyZimbabwe reported. They had been having sex in a sideways position and he managed to escape wearing nothing but a condom. He turned back to see Mawera being mauled and rushed to

Comments:
Self-explanatory artickle.
This is the part about, "´Til death do us part" I guess.
And how was YOUR day... ?
Headline resplit by staff.

      


Post Reply  

Reply 1 - Posted by: mitzi, 3/6/2013 3:22:59 PM     (No. 9211781)

Sideways?

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Reply 2 - Posted by: Rafter, 3/6/2013 3:23:34 PM     (No. 9211782)

"I hate when that happens!" ... forgot to add...

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R-G1
  
R-VAR_AD


 
Reply 3 - Posted by: Scottyboy, 3/6/2013 3:24:59 PM     (No. 9211783)

Someone in Africa was wearing a condom? Now that´s really news!


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Reply 4 - Posted by: DoktorFranken, 3/6/2013 3:26:32 PM     (No. 9211787)

Well, condoms saves lives, ya know.

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Reply 5 - Posted by: spincut, 3/6/2013 3:28:39 PM     (No. 9211791)

#3-- hey, and you thought the millions and billions of $ American taxpayers throw overseas goes to waste....

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Reply 6 - Posted by: Kingbubo, 3/6/2013 3:30:22 PM     (No. 9211796)

At least he didn´t listen to the Vatican

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Reply 7 - Posted by: Illinois Mom, 3/6/2013 3:36:37 PM     (No. 9211801)

At least they were practicing "safe sex."

Too bad the condom package didn´t have a "Make sure there are no lions in the immediate area" warning.

Maybe they can sue?

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Reply 8 - Posted by: wws, 3/6/2013 3:40:33 PM     (No. 9211805)

I guess that puts a fresh light on the old saying, "when you see a lion charging, you don´t need to run faster than the lion, you just need to run faster than your girlfriend!"

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Reply 9 - Posted by: mitzi, 3/6/2013 3:49:54 PM     (No. 9211821)

#6 ... if they had listened, she´d be live today.

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Reply 10 - Posted by: mickturn, 3/6/2013 3:53:37 PM     (No. 9211827)

Sounds like a city councilman from San Antonio Tx back in the 80´s...he was doing the deed with his secretary (he was married of course), the car was attacked by a gang, he somehow ran away and she was...abused.

The story got out and he moved to another city. I doubt they knew his character, he´s now a "Lawyer"...which says a lot.

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Reply 11 - Posted by: Rafter, 3/6/2013 3:55:43 PM     (No. 9211830)

Trojan Man could have shown up in the nick of time...
but his white charger had recently been turned into horse meat...
due to the sequester.

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Reply 12 - Posted by: realrep, 3/6/2013 4:02:39 PM     (No. 9211839)

great comment #4

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Reply 13 - Posted by: hershey, 3/6/2013 4:09:03 PM     (No. 9211850)

Too bad zippys dad wasn´t wearing one.

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Reply 14 - Posted by: chumley, 3/6/2013 4:17:33 PM     (No. 9211858)

I dont know whether to sing "Cat Scatch Fever" or repeat the old line about "Do what you want to the girl but leave me alone."

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Reply 15 - Posted by: Halfvast Conspirator, 3/6/2013 4:22:03 PM     (No. 9211864)

I think the boyfriend is lion about what happened.

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Reply 16 - Posted by: FunOne, 3/6/2013 4:23:15 PM     (No. 9211866)

Wow. And I though bringing in a sheep was kinky.

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Reply 17 - Posted by: Freeloader, 3/6/2013 4:27:34 PM     (No. 9211870)

Remember this old hit tune, originally recorded in Zulu and later popularized by Pete Seeger and The Weavers?´

"Hush, my darling, don´t fear, my darling...the lion sleeps tonight...A weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh, a weema-weh."

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R_DBL_B
  


 
Reply 18 - Posted by: LamontCranston, 3/6/2013 4:32:49 PM     (No. 9211878)

Be careful where your lyin´ or you might meet a lion.

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Reply 19 - Posted by: bigbird, 3/6/2013 4:37:20 PM     (No. 9211888)

That´s how I want to go.

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Reply 20 - Posted by: mitzi, 3/6/2013 4:40:12 PM     (No. 9211891)

Perhaps he was wearing one of those new "lion-icide" condoms.

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Reply 21 - Posted by: zbogwan2, 3/6/2013 4:49:55 PM     (No. 9211902)

Wonder if this wench was screaming "Yes!" "Yes!", when the lion was attracted to same and obliged her with a fatal bite to her neck? At least she went out being satisfied, hopefully?

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Reply 22 - Posted by: Namma, 3/6/2013 4:50:36 PM     (No. 9211903)

want safe sex, wear a helmet...


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Reply 23 - Posted by: whyyeseyec, 3/6/2013 4:51:55 PM     (No. 9211905)

Maybe to that lion they looked like a double cheeseburger, or a humpback whale....

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Reply 24 - Posted by: Rafter, 3/6/2013 4:52:36 PM     (No. 9211906)

#7, apparently the condom instructions did contain an "Escape Claws" ....

Something similar happened when a senate lion tried a waitress sandwich...

aka a "Zimbabwe Threeway"

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Reply 25 - Posted by: dittohead, 3/6/2013 5:07:24 PM     (No. 9211918)

I had to read what all of you are saying and you did not let me down. My laughs for the day!!! Thank ya, thank ya, thank ya!!!!

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Reply 26 - Posted by: LittleRedHen1, 3/6/2013 5:17:29 PM     (No. 9211930)

Since nobody else has written it, I will. This thread is punny.

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Reply 27 - Posted by: Hazymac, 3/6/2013 5:18:53 PM     (No. 9211931)

Well, it appears that Jason Voorhees wasn´t the only character with a rather strong aversion to fornication. At least the lion didn´t run Sharai through with a pitchfork and leave her hanging on a barn door. Poor, poor girl.

Concerning her paramour´s escape wearing only a condom, I know how he feels. During a 1977 trip to Kenya we spent several days in a tent village in Amboseli National Park just a short distance north of Mount Kilimanjaro´s imposing bulk. Our dining hall was about a mile north of our camp, but our guides wouldn´t let us walk back and forth. The first night we were there one of the Masai natives walking the road between our encampment and his nearby village was attacked and eaten by a lion. His mostly consumed body was discovered about four hundred meters from my tent. All we had to protect ourselves was the mosquito netting over the entrances to our tents; we were much easier prey than the local herds of wildebeasts. Sleep in Amboseli was fitful, to say the least.

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Reply 28 - Posted by: JHHolliday, 3/6/2013 5:21:13 PM     (No. 9211935)

I saw this earlier and started to post it but was afraid it would get closed in about two seconds.

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Reply 29 - Posted by: planetgeo, 3/6/2013 5:23:20 PM     (No. 9211939)

Apparently, Simba look for strange kitty too.

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Reply 30 - Posted by: kiwinews, 3/6/2013 5:28:49 PM     (No. 9211944)

There´s a "two in the bush" joke in here somewhere, but I´m sure not posting it.

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Reply 31 - Posted by: Periwinkel, 3/6/2013 5:50:17 PM     (No. 9211964)

In the immortal words of Jay Leno to Hugh Grant..."what on earth were you thinking???"

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Reply 32 - Posted by: rlcnutter, 3/6/2013 5:53:44 PM     (No. 9211967)

I guess this explains how the "missionary position" came to be. Natives knew not to get on top in lion country. (sorry, couldn´t resist)

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Reply 33 - Posted by: 4Justice, 3/6/2013 6:27:21 PM     (No. 9212013)

I guess chivalry is dead! I always thought that the man was supposed to protect his woman. Oh well...

It is too bad that they had to kill that whole pride that kept attacking that village. Lions are becoming endangered because of canine distemper from hyenas and jackels. Anyway, it is hard to blame them for hunting. Kitty needs to eat too.

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Reply 34 - Posted by: Rafter, 3/6/2013 6:30:53 PM     (No. 9212019)

#28, I took the plunge after discovering through "Search" that no one else had.
It was too much to resist.

As is the following...

Obama, with his African heritage, warned us that terrible things would happen under the
sequester.
Seems he was right.

Speaking of Kenya, back in the 1950´s, a Zimbabwe Threeway was known there and
world-wide as The Nairobi Trio.

Further details have been provided now...
The perpetrating beast has been identified as...
Taralong The Dotted Lion.
Local authorities confirm that he remains a threat to condoms and condom-wearers
throughout the region.

Which brings forth the additional observation...
Instead of latex, the gentleman may want to try next time a Timex Condom...
"Takes a licking and keeps on (x)icking... "

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Reply 35 - Posted by: donnaclaire, 3/6/2013 6:45:55 PM     (No. 9212035)

Ecstasy to Agony - sounds like a movie title. Awful story.

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Reply 36 - Posted by: uno, 3/6/2013 7:05:14 PM     (No. 9212057)

Maybe Mr. Lion just wanted to get a little on the side too...
or was that a side to go with Sharai...

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Reply 37 - Posted by: sgtfox of the jarhead clan, 3/6/2013 7:13:45 PM     (No. 9212070)

Nut screws and bolts.

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Reply 38 - Posted by: Heraclitus, 3/6/2013 7:21:13 PM     (No. 9212076)

Well, so much for "safe sex." and chivalry.

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Reply 39 - Posted by: tennman, 3/6/2013 7:42:06 PM     (No. 9212103)

Old story. Two people are being chased by a lion. One turns to the other and asks if they can outrun the beast. The reply? I only have to outrun you.

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Reply 40 - Posted by: cartcart, 3/6/2013 7:54:18 PM     (No. 9212115)

What a cad! He didn´t bring protection for both if them.

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Reply 41 - Posted by: afherkdriver, 3/6/2013 7:57:10 PM     (No. 9212117)

When I first saw this I thought there has to be a joke in here somewhere. I think the posters satisfied that need. I´m sure there will be more circulated around the net. Made my day.

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Reply 42 - Posted by: Bobn.T, 3/6/2013 9:45:25 PM     (No. 9212212)

She was on the wrong side - again.

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Reply 43 - Posted by: Holoholo, 3/7/2013 2:29:05 AM     (No. 9212411)

I hate that I laughed at these posts. Poor woman.

And, I´m sorry to say that I was so ignorant that I slept soundly while at Amboseli in ´82. We had guards with rifles who walked us back to our tents and I still didn´t really get the danger aspect. But, I always wear Charlie cologne and I doubt if any lion would have wanted to chomp on me.

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Reply 44 - Posted by: Trigger2, 3/7/2013 3:52:57 AM     (No. 9212435)

I foresee the appropriate goobermint agency which requires product warnings to issue an immediate directive requiring condom packages to be stamped with "beware of roaming lions".

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Reply 45 - Posted by: pensom2, 3/8/2013 1:22:11 AM     (No. 9214222)

Chappaquiddick.

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boss Morell’s testimony

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Fox News, by Adam Housley    Original Article
Posted By: KarenJ1- 4/2/2014 9:19:40 PM     Post Reply
Sources on the ground in Benghazi during the 2012 terror attack are pushing back hard on former CIA acting director Mike Morell´s testimony on Capitol Hill, where he defended his role in shaping the administration´s narrative and claimed politics were not involved. As part of Morell´s testimony on Wednesday, the former acting and deputy CIA director acknowledged that he overruled the guidance of the top CIA officer in Libya at the time. That official told Morell the attack was not an "escalation of protests," but Morell said he had to weigh that against analysts who concluded the opposite. He ultimately went

5 Reasons Why Republicans
Should Say No to Jeb 2016

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Daily Beast, by Myra Adams    Original Article
Posted By: tisHimself- 4/2/2014 6:39:16 AM     Post Reply
With Chris Christie in deep trouble, Republican poobahs are reportedly looking to Jeb Bush to save their party in 2016. The former two-term governor of Florida speaks fluent Spanish, is a convert to Catholicism, and has high name recognition. Jeb could raise millions of dollars over night by just saying “yes” to running. Despite all this, there are strong reasons Republicans should say no to him. 1. His last name is poison. Let’s face it, if Jeb Bush had the last name of Something Else he would have already run for president in 2008 or 2012. According to a recent Washington Post/ABC News poll registered voters were asked if they would definitely NOT vote for Jeb Bush and 50 percent said they would not.

Defense Secretary ´Looking´ at Banning
Tobacco Sales at Military Installations

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Weekly Standard, by Daniel Halper    Original Article
Posted By: Pluperfect- 4/2/2014 5:23:20 AM     Post Reply
Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is "looking" at banning the sale of tobacco at military installations. According to one military publication, Hagel appears to support it. "As the Navy considers banning tobacco sales on all bases and ships, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel gave a strong endorsement of the review Monday, and suggested that he would be in favor of a ban," reports Stars and Stripes. “I don’t know if there’s anybody in America who still thinks that tobacco is good for you,” Stars and Stripes quotes Hagel as saying. “We don’t allow smoking in any of our government buildings. Restaurants, states, [and]

Sarah Palin Continues to Discredit Herself
24 replie(s)
Commentary Magazine, by Peter Wehner    Original Article
Posted By: MissMolly- 4/2/2014 2:45:34 PM     Post Reply
Sarah Palin continues to act in ways that confirm some of the more negative things said about her. For example, she’s taken to Facebook to attack the most recent budget plan by House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan.(Snip)Whatever differences Ms. Palin may have with the Ryan plan–and perhaps she’ll take the time to offer an actual critique of if rather than a Facebook entry with lots of upper case words–it’s hardly a joke. But what might elicit a roll of the eyes is comparing Ms. Palin’s views now versus what they were nearly four years ago. Consider this: On December

Hobby Lobby 401(k) invests
in birth control makers

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Associated Press, by Sam Hananel & Judy Ausuebel    Original Article
Posted By: LittleHoodedMonk- 4/2/2014 5:42:15 PM     Post Reply
Washington - The company leading the legal challenge against birth control coverage under the new health care law offers its workers a retirement plan that includes investments in companies making contraceptive and abortion drugs. Hobby Lobby Stores Inc. has a 401(k) plan featuring several mutual funds investing in pharmaceutical firms that produce intrauterine birth control devices, emergency contraceptive pills and drugs used in abortion procedures, according to Labor Department documents and a review of fund portfolios. (Snip) “This is the height of hypocrisy,” Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Action Fund, said in a


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