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5-Year-Old Alabama Boy
Misses Fun ´Bunker Grandpa´
Onion, by Staff
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Original Article
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Posted By:Magic8Ball, 2/6/2013 9:38:05 AM
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Hours after an FBI raid freed him from the underground bunker where he had been held hostage for six days, 5-year-old Alabama boy Ethan told reporters that he already misses his fun, super-cool Bunker Grandpa. “Bunker Grandpa let me stay up all night and do whatever I want!” Ethan said Monday night, adding that he couldn’t wait to tell all his friends at school about getting to spend a week playing in an “awesome underground playhouse with [his] new best friend.”
Headline split by staff
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Reply 1 - Posted by:
JAN, 2/6/2013 9:49:24 AM (No. 9161441)
Let´s hope that no one tells this little guy anything different.
Seems he wasn´t traumatised and that´s a good thing.
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Reply 2 - Posted by:
reilly, 2/6/2013 9:49:32 AM (No. 9161442)
Kinda like the five-year-old electorate that likes Uncle Barry´s free money.
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Reply 3 - Posted by:
JAN, 2/6/2013 9:50:02 AM (No. 9161445)
Ooopppss. Sorry, didn´t see that this was from the Onion.
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Reply 4 - Posted by:
Grady, 2/6/2013 9:53:07 AM (No. 9161452)
The Onion writes all the stories about Obama´s
successes.
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Reply 5 - Posted by:
MisterDickens, 2/6/2013 10:00:33 AM (No. 9161472)
Right. It was all fun and games. That´s why the kid was crying for his mother.
Why does The Onion exist? Just damn meanness?
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Reply 6 - Posted by:
armywife85, 2/6/2013 10:06:49 AM (No. 9161489)
The onion is satire.
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Reply 7 - Posted by:
Safari Man, 2/6/2013 10:21:03 AM (No. 9161542)
... eat Skittles for dinner every night
I little jab at the Trayvon Martin situation?
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Reply 8 - Posted by:
earlybird, 2/6/2013 10:38:39 AM (No. 9161606)
Not used to seeing The Onion posted here, I bit. And was appalled. Glad that I finally came to and realized it was satire. Probably the most tasteless satire The Onion has done. They should have given this a pass.
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Reply 9 - Posted by:
tomanderson61, 2/6/2013 10:42:47 AM (No. 9161617)
Seriously, I think we should avoid "The Onion" on this site. It´s not news, and rarely funny.
A school bus driver was murdered, a crazy old guy is dead, and a child was traumatized, with outcomes unknown for years.
That´s something to be laugh about?
It´s not satire, it´s kind of sick.
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Below, you will find ...
Most Recent Articles posted by "Magic8Ball"
and
Most Active Articles (last 48 hours)
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Most Recent Articles posted by "Magic8Ball"
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5-Year-Old Alabama Boy
Misses Fun ´Bunker Grandpa´
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Onion, by Staff
Original Article
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Posted By: Magic8Ball- 2/6/2013 9:38:05 AM
Post Reply
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Hours after an FBI raid freed him from the underground bunker where he had been held hostage for six days, 5-year-old Alabama boy Ethan told reporters that he already misses his fun, super-cool Bunker Grandpa. “Bunker Grandpa let me stay up all night and do whatever I want!” Ethan said Monday night, adding that he couldn’t wait to tell all his friends at school about getting to spend a week playing in an “awesome underground playhouse with [his] new best friend.”
Headline split by staff
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Most Active Articles (last 48 hours)
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McCain: ´I don´t understand´
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Politico, by Jennifer Epstein
Original Article
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Posted By: JoniTx- 4/7/2013 12:18:14 PM
Post Reply
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Sen. John McCain says he doesn´t understand the threats from some of his Republican colleagues to filibuster a bill on background checks to buy guns. "I don´t understand it," the Arizona Republican said on Sunday of the threat coming from Sen. Rand Paul,Sen. Ted Cruz, Sen. Mike Lee and nine other Republicans. "The purpose of the United States Senate is to debate and to vote and to let the people know where we stand.” "What are we afraid of? ... If this issue is as important as we all think it is, why not take ... it up and debate?"
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´My bangs are getting
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Daily Mail (UK), by Margot Peppers
Original Article
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Posted By: pineledger- 4/7/2013 7:43:42 AM
Post Reply
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Michelle Obama has admitted that she is already tired of the bangs she first sported in January. The First Lady said in an interview with Entertainment Tonight: ´Bangs are a day-by-day proposition. They´re starting to grow out, get a little irritating.´ Still, she hasn´t let her hairdo woes get her down. ´It´s okay,´ she said after her initial complaint. ´We´ll be good.´ The first indication that her hairstyle was becoming a burden came about last weekend, when Malia, 14, was spotted adjusting her mother´s hair during the White House Easter Egg Roll.
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Why Obama´s ´Best-Looking Attorney
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The Atlantic, by Garance Franke-Ruta
Original Article
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Posted By: Oblio- 4/6/2013 6:51:15 AM
Post Reply
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President Obama´s biggest gaffe yesterday when speaking of California Attorney General Kamala Harris was not in flirtatiously complimenting her as "the best-looking attorney general," but in introducing an observation from the system of beauty into a forum that was about the system of power.What´s that, you say? Irin Carmon does a great job in Salon in laying out the bounds of propriety for when it´s appropriate to talk about a woman´s looks as a general matter. But I´ve long felt we lack a solid theoretical underpinning for easily discussing these issues, and why precisely it is that
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Broadcasters worry
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Associated Press, by Ryan Nakashima
Original Article
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Posted By: Ribicon- 4/7/2013 2:43:40 PM
Post Reply
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Los Angeles — Some people have had it with TV. They´ve had enough of the 100-plus channel universe. They don´t like timing their lives around network show schedules. They´re tired of $100-plus monthly bills. A growing number of them have stopped paying for cable and satellite TV service, and don´t even use an antenna to get free signals over the air. (Snip) Last month, the Nielsen Co. started labeling people in this group "Zero TV" households, because they fall outside the traditional definition of a TV home. There are 5 million of these residences in the U.S., up from
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Christians, here´s why we´re
losing our religion
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Fox News, by Craig Groeschel
Original Article
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Posted By: STLstudent- 4/7/2013 5:13:55 PM
Post Reply
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Recent research indicates that the number of people who do not consider themselves a part of an organized religion is steadily on the rise. Interestingly enough, though the number of those religiously unaffiliated is increasing, there is little to no trend in the number of those who express atheist or agnostic beliefs. People aren’t saying they don’t believe in God. They’re saying they don’t believe in religion. They are not rejecting Christ. They are rejecting the church. This begs the question, “Why are we losing our religion?”
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Mother Of Slain Benghazi
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Mediaite, by A.J. Delgado
Original Article
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Posted By: StormCnter- 4/7/2013 5:00:16 AM
Post Reply
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On Friday, Sean Hannity brought Pat Smith, mother of the late Sean Smith, on his radio program. The 34-year-old information management officer was one of four Americans murdered in the Benghazi embassy attack on September 11, 2012. In the chilling interview, a distraught Ms. Smith, in tears, pleaded for answers and spoke of the efforts to silence her. Ms. Smith first relayed how her son, prior to the attack, requested additional security in advance and warned the State Department: He did tell them, ahead of time, he typed it into his little typewriter over there,
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Hillary Clinton Would Not
´Clear the Field´ for 2016
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New Republic, by Tod Lindberg
Original Article
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Posted By: StormCnter- 4/6/2013 5:22:36 AM
Post Reply
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No one is more preoccupied these days with Hillary Clinton´s 2016 plans than the Beltway political class—not even the former presidential candidate herself. To hear some tell it, her decision will be dispositive for all other Democrats thinking of entering the race. And pundits and reporters aren´t the only ones positing the "The Hillary Factor": No less than the House Democratic whip, Steny Hoyer, told BuzzFeed, “I don´t know that anybody would run against Hillary…. If she runs, she clears the field.” It´s an understandable conclusion, given Clinton´s stature in the Democratic Party and her 70 percent
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Obama critic apologizes for
his ´poorly chosen words´
on gay marriage
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The Hill [Washington DC], by Alexandra Jaffe
Original Article
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Posted By: JoniTx- 4/6/2013 12:18:19 PM
Post Reply
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Neurosurgeon Ben Carson, considered by some to be a potential Republican contender for president, apologized to Johns Hopkins University for the "poorly chosen words" he used in expressing his opposition to gay marriage last month.“I am sorry for any embarrassment this has caused,” Carson said in the letter, reported in New York Magazine.(Snip) "Although I do believe marriage is between a man and a woman, there are much less offensive ways to make that point. I hope all will look at a lifetime of service over some poorly chosen words.” Carson will remain as commencement speaker at Johns Hopkins,
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Vanishing workforce
weighs on growth
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Washington Post, by Jim Tankersley
Original Article
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Posted By: Dreadnought- 4/6/2013 11:28:59 PM
Post Reply
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Put out an all-points bulletin: Millions of Americans have gone missing from the workforce. Every month that those would-be workers are gone raises the odds that they might never come back, dimming the prospects for future economic growth. The vanishing trend is more than a decade old, but it accelerated during the Great Recession. Throughout 2012, economists held out hope that it had stopped. But then came Friday’s jobs report, and hopes were dashed. The Labor Department reported that the U.S. labor force — everyone who has a job or is looking for one — shrank
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The Secrets of Princeton
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New York Times, by Ross Douthat
Original Article
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Posted By: Oblio- 4/7/2013 8:08:09 AM
Post Reply
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Susan Patton, the Princeton alumna who became famous for her letter urging Ivy League women to use their college years to find a mate, has been denounced as a traitor to feminism, to coeducation, to the university ideal. But really she’s something much more interesting: a traitor to her class. Her betrayal consists of being gauche enough to acknowledge publicly a truth that everyone who’s come up through Ivy League culture knows intuitively —
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Beyonce, Jay-Z celebrate 5th
anniversary in Havana, Cuba
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Los Angeles Times, by Nardine Saad
Original Article
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Posted By: Fiesta del sol- 4/6/2013 8:20:04 AM
Post Reply
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Beyonce and Jay-Z celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary in Cuba this week. The couple, who married on April 4, 2008, took in the sights of Old Havana, visited a school, dined on a rooftop terrace and strolled the fan-filled streets in their island best.(snip).The power couple declined to answer journalists´ questions about their visit to the island nation, but some outlets are reporting that the moguls are there as tourists, though that would be illegal because of the half-century embargo the U.S. has on the Communist country. However, the Miami Herald said Washington has issued special licenses for
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