Short Cuts, Tuesday, Sept. 11th, 2001

Troubled Skies: We begin the morning with one of our spy planes shot down over Iraq and Russian war planes buzzing our planes over the Pacific. Watch for calls today for no more Mr. Nice Guy. It's time already.

Grand Jury to Ann: Eeeeu! and Ick! A Grand July in Gary Condit's home county just didn't have the stomach to take on Flight Attendant Ann Marie Smith's charges against the philandering solon. Undaughted, she says, "whatever" and will ankle on over to another state court to try again. We are rooting for Ann Marie. Of all the characters to come out of our Summer of Sleaze - she's wears the best.

Liddy Done Dood It: So Liddy Dole decided to find work after all. She's going to bunk in with her 100 year old Mom and run for the Senate in the state where she was born. This is good news if for no other reason than to hear Hillary backers screaming "Carpetbagger." At least Liddy grew up there. Hillary only shopped and extorted money in her new state.

Hazel Nut Hughie's Guy Ducks Hugh Rodham's client, pill pusher Glenn Braswell, took the fifth yesterday at Senate hearings probing his snake-oil business. Interesting how these characters still cling to the Clinton's like iron filings to a magnet.

At First We Were Excited: We thought we were reading that Elizabeth Taylor was doing a book called "My Love (Affair) With Jewry" and thought it would be about her conversion and controversial marriage to Mike Todd but we were wrong. It's about her baubles, bangles and big fat shiny beads and the men who gave them to her. Weep for the trees.

You Know Who You Are: Here is possible good news for the millions of women who risk the penitentiary each night to get some decent sleep. A study at Walter Reed hospital shows that a simple injection in the back of his throat can stop your husband's snoring. This is less aggressive than other remedies: baseball bat, pillow held firmly overhead, divorce.

Just Wondering: Does anyone else find it beyond repulsive that Michael Jackson, who paid millions to the family of a boy who claimed this strange creature molested him, should surround himself at his Tavern on the Green party Friday night with several 10 and 12 year old boys! This party went on until 4 in the morning. Somewhere out there are some sicko parents to match the sicko kids.

Ldotter Note: Thanks for your patience with our housekeeping chores here on the site this week. This is a complicated site and a server move jumbles things up a bit but sit tight. We are working hard for you and this too shall pass.

-Your Frazzled LComStaff

Published originally 9-11-01 @7:06AM EDT