Monday December 17, 2001

Quote of The Day

"There is a long history of multiple groups claiming credit for a single act of terrorism -- even of groups claiming credit for explosions that turned out to be accidents. It is possible this tape, despite its poor quality, was intended as a recruiting device, and that claiming credit for the largest attack on the United States was seen as helping the recruiting effort."

--Alan Dershowitz in defense of Osama bin Ladin
The National Post

Barney teases owner about being able to walk

Slip, Sliding Away: -The Washington Post reports that the last shaggypants remnant of the Taliban have cut a few deals and headed out to the snowy mountains near Pakistan. They shouldn't prove to be a big deal to finish off. At least we can see their bare footprints.

Just Stay Home: Airport authorities did a little felon profiling among its security staff and turned up 29 offenders. One a kidnapper!

On an American Airlines flight out of San Diego, a lady pulled a coat out of a bag and a hand grenade rolled down the aisle. Turned out to be fake but a heart stopper nonetheless.

And, a Chicago Sun Times columnist had his baby's fork taken then ate his in-flight dinner with a larger one.

O Chickadelic Day! Long time readers of Short Cuts know how we feel about chickens. We love them. We find them extremely funny. We eat them. Now there is someone who finally understands. "People don't realize how much history there is behind poultry,'' says our new hero Jim Burnette of Olmstead, Ohio as he proposed a Chicken Museum. Go to it, Jim. We'll be there.

Waiter, There's Busy Body In My Soup: Great. After a 25,000 calorie weekend we need the news that the Surgeon General is on our case about cookies. Better he spend his time on how we survive an anthrax attack. We already know what's fattening without calorie counts on the menu and this guy in our fridge.

O.J. in A Turban: If anyone needs further proof that military tribunals are the way to go, read Alan Dershowitz' shameful defense of the bin Laden tape in the National Post. We'll give him two and a half camels and the month of January at Camp Rhino for dreaming this up and thank him for getting our week started with the proper snarky edge.

-From behind enemy lines in deepest Khlintunisia, we are Your LComStaff