Monday, November 5, 2001

Quote of The Day

"For showing up at Yankee Stadium and for throwing a perfect pitch, George W. Bush earns our beloved Durham Grit Award with Chewing Tobacco Device. Give that feller a chaw, son."

--Editorial, The Durham-Herald Sun

W uses presidential persuasion to make Barney walk

Fifth Column Floppola: Here's the Sy Hersh piece in today's New Yorker magazine that wasn't even published before it was being shot down. This is the third piece Hersh has done using the same source and all of it wrong. Both General Tommy Franks and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Richard Myer denied the charges that commandos were wounded. Time for the dog track, Sy.

Remote Control Rhumba: We have tired thumbs from bouncing from the Bears, to the Sopranos, to the Yankees and the Emmys. If you missed the Emmys, here's a good run down. High point? Edie "Carmela Soprano" Falco thanking Rudy Giuliani for his behavior. Low point? Streisand milking a big finale number even though she didn't show up earlier to pick up her award. Her closer was meant to grab the heart. It simply closed the throat. Now she and Rosie can go home a knit a flag.

More Monica Fallout: According to the Times of India - buried deep in a cave as deep, dark and undesirable as Tory Spelling's cleavage, bin Laden has stopped talking on the phone ever since Clinton's bombing of the aspirin factory tipped him off that we were listening.

Credit Where Credit Is Due: As much as we love the Yankees, we applaud the Diamondbacks for a series to remember and giving new meaning to the song, "You've Gotta Have Heart." Anyone notice that Sir Rudy was at the game Saturday night in Phoenix, opened the New York Marathon Sunday morning and back in Phoenix for the closing game? The man gets around like flung confetti. The Yankees will live to win another day and we predict - so will Rudy. We miss him already.

Jaw Dropper of the Day: If this Chicago Sun-Times story doesn't speak to the immediate need for an airport security bill we can't find one that does. A Nepalese man tried to board a flight at O'Hare yesterday with several knives, a stun gun and a can of Mace! He got by seven, count them, seven, security guards. We didn't realize they have been hiring the blind.

Your Monday Grumpy LComStaff