Monday, September 29, 2003

A quiet moment with Barney before a five-day solo tour

What you might have missed this weekend:

We thought NOW had hit rock bottom when they spent their last political coin on a useless endorsement of Carol Moseley Braun but they had a tick further down to go. In a report of a Davis rally over the weekend we learn that "several women in the audience, which included members of the National Organization for Women and Planned Parenthood's political arm, held toilet seats with `Flush Arnold' banners across them."

* Before Friday's two hour debate/snore-a-thon at Pace University, the Washington Post had a source in the rest room where Bob Graham reportedly stared into the mirror doing breathing exercises. We also learned that Dick Gephart asks for bottled water at room temperature (pleh!) and Breck Girl Edwards likes diet coke. Little Denny Kucinich, of course, wants all things vegan. Now we know what gives him his unhealthy pallor. Joe Lieberman does push-ups to pump up. But the best was an impatient and prostate challenged John Kerry, seeing the twitching lineup outside the men's room, had a staffer check out the ladies room into which he nipped for last minute fundamentals. The thought of some sweet young staffer applying that last sweep of mascara at the sink to see John Kerry emerging from a stall freezes the soul.

* At last, we have an explanation as to why Gray Davis grew up to be such a dangerous nerd who has almost destroyed the great state of California. Dave Broder in the WaPo reports that "State Senate President Pro Tem John Burton (D), a liberal San Franciscan, said he received a phone call recently from actor Warren Beatty, asking him to be more supportive of Davis. 'You have to cut him some slack,' Burton quoted Beatty as saying. 'He had an abusive, alcoholic father and it affected him.'"

* Here's how Zev Chafetz in the NY Daily News summed up the Tedious Ten: Clark gets two additional points for his haircut and all-around preppie appearance. He was (excepting Carol Moseley Braun) the best-looking candidate on the stage at Pace. And the most presidential. John Kerry is too lanky. Howard Dean is too stocky. Al Sharpton is too sharp. Joe Lieberman is too schleppy. John Edwards is too cute. Dick Gephardt is too pale. Graham is too frail. Dennis Kucinich is from another planet. In this field, Clark looks like Mount Rushmore."

* But General Clark's headwaiter looks may not get him that spot on the side of the mountain if he doesn't stop this kind of thing. In New Hampshire this weekend he pointed out, "I never say the same thing every day, I grow every day."

-Your Fully Grown LComStaff

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