Monday, September 22, 2003

Short Cuts

Responding to an incident in Baltimore when an open mike picked up John Kerry muttering, "Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean." Joe Trippi, Dean's campaign manager said, "I guess we're just on his mind a lot."

Gen. Wesley Clark, the Clinton's Potemkin village candidate, had his Philly Cheese Steak moment within the first 24 hours on the trail. In Iowa, where he told anyone who would listen how happy he was to be there, he gazed at an egg-white omelet a waitress put in front of him and burbled, "Now this is an Iowa breakfast!" No one told him it was about 3000 calories shy.

If there is any doubt left that Clark is a solely owned subsidiary of the Clinton's quest for power over principle, check out General Jell-O's staff: Mark Fabiani, Ron Klain, Bill Oldaker, Bruce Lindsay George Bruno, Skip Rutherford and Rahm Emanuel. All that's lacking is Denise Rich to run and fetch coffee and money. "It's very impressive," said dem strategist Donna Brazile, without a hint of a smile: "that a guy who's never stepped foot in the political arena can attract this type of talent."

And here was Auhnold commenting on movie lines that had him saying he wanted to shove a female's head into a toilet. "She was a machine. She wasn't a woman. She was a machine. Do you get it? I love women. Trust me." Somehow, we do.

What do James Traficant, Michael Milkin, and Saddam Hussein have in common? Their hair gave them grief. The first two had to check their Full Cleveland's at the jailhouse door. Now, Saddam's roots have turned on him - buried in a story in Sunday's London Daily Mirror about him (erroneously) on the run: "He has apparently run out of black hair-dye and will almost certainly have white hair."

Candidate Wesley Clark, who registered as a dem only last month: “I would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had returned my phone calls." He later said he was just being humorous but those who heard him say it said: he went into detail, wasn't kidding and they were shocked.

Then we have this breath snatcher from NY Congressman Charles Rangel who admits that he has never met Clark: "He can save this goddam nation from self-destruction."

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