Short Cuts

Shhh, Auh-nold Is Thinking: From a headline saying: Schwarzenegger To Offer Thoughts On Issues - we deduce that Auh-nold crash course on his campaign positions has been completed. He promises a debate but doesn't say with whom and says that by tomorrow he will be ready to tell us how he stands on the issues. This is either refreshing or dumb. We haven't figured it out yet. He also has changed his mind about debates and with his mangled English they should be pure theater.

The Follicle Follies: The L.A. Times does the inevitable piece on the style of the Recallettes (describing Gray Davis as having "Mr. Rogers hair") that could have been written by the Queer Eye team. Included in this piece is a quote we had somehow forgotten. From a 2001 graduation address Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) gave at Yale: "The most important thing I have to say to you today is that hair matters," the former first lady said. "This is a life lesson my family did not teach me, Wellesley and Yale failed to instill in me: the importance of your hair. Your hair will send very important messages to those around you. It will tell people who you are and what you stand for. What hopes and dreams you have for the world."

Today's Ka-Ching Thing: A communiqué was released to an English language Arab newspaper claiming Osama binLaden and the alQauda were responsible for the Big Blackout. They hoot at the idea that lightning caused the massive power failure and gloated at the fact that the entire operation only cost them $7,000. No word here whether this was for wire cutters or the drugs they used while producing this statement.

You're Only As Smart As Your Breasts: Any political candidate who arrives from the movie industry is guaranteed to be a gold mine of quotes. Reuters picked up on a website called Welovearnold.com that dishes up some beauts from the Terminator. For the "breasts" quote go there. Also listed is our all time favorite (so far, the gold mine quote aspect has just begun). "The only way that you really keep it a secret is by not telling anyone." Now that is just plain profound.

Memo To Reuters: Drink Vodka, It Doesn't Smell: Our thanks to Big Daddy Blogger Instapundit for this delicious internal memo to the Reuters sales staff. We assume they will be dealing with headline writers and reporters next.

-Your Perpetually Sober LComStaff