Short Cuts

- It was reported that the Brits are drinking too much (heat related) Government wants to establish a weekly maximum intake.

- Mayor Bloomberg would like to remind you to shut your refrigerator door, so that when the power comes back on refrigerators won't overtax the grid. Got that boys and girls?

- You missed hearing a male newsreader (on either Fox News or CNN) read a list of the cities in America that were NOT affected by the blackout. When last heard from, he was on the K's.

- A LCom poster thought she spotted Lucianne on TV, directing traffic. Still unconfirmed

- You missed seeing Paula Zahn, Pattie Ann Brown, and several of the other cable TV news-babes in their new role as Live-From-the-Scene reporters. Don't worry, you wouldn't have recognized them. Like, ohmygod, without power there were no blow dryers! The hair! The hair! But the real crisis for these babes was...someone sent the makeup artists home.

- As might be expected during a crisis, our leaders hopped to and carried out their role with stunning efficiency. Yes, the Republicans went to work solving the problem and the liberals took to the airwaves to complain about Bush. For example, Hildabeast and the Bengal Tiger were Larry King Live's guests. Yes, Hillary had to cut short her book signing tour to race back to her hotel room and hit the phones. Both Grayout and Hillary used the blackout as an opportunity to inform us that the blackout (1.) Never would have happened during the previous Administration and (2.) Never could happen in California where Grayout (''I AM the governor'') Davis is busy taking care of the people's business.

- We are proud to report that even though millions of people were roaming the streets of New York City there were no reports of anyone firing rockets into the air; no one was seen walking down the street with a couch on their back and a copy machine on their donkey; and last we checked there was no rope and bandana tied around Lady Liberty's neck.

- Reported by: Ldot Super Staffer Peepster