Short Cuts

Unintended Consequences: Remember when a whole snarl of Kennedys, bored show business types and even Al Sharpton threw themselves about on the beach in Puerto Rico trying to stop the Navy from using the tiny island of Vieques as a test firing range? Well, they won, after Al Sharpton got a slenderizing trip to the slammer and the Kennedys went home - so did the U.S. Navy. Roosevelt Roads Naval Base, the island's largest employer, closed leaving many jobless. The island is nice and quiet now. Happy?

You Knew This Was Coming: The London Sunday Times reports that a group of lushes are going to sue the booze industry for their condition. Now this is a great idea - right up there with suing major car dealers for making us drive too fast, the mattress industry for making a place too comfortable to leave. Men could sue the cosmetics and perfume industry for making women more appealing than they really are, and we could all sue the TV industry for producing entertainment that keeps us couch bound.

On The Sleaze Beat: We can always count on Page Six to update us on the notorious Anthony Pellicano, detective, and thug-to-the-stars whose case goes to trial this fall. Now that police have his computer's hard drive, lawyers who hired him to do "damp-work" (as opposed to "wet") may be in for some splashy publicity. One of those lawyers, of course, is our own Hillary Clinton who used Pellicano (among others) to threaten BJ's girl-friends into stony silence and shove affidavits under their trembling ball points. Stay tuned.

Headline of the Day: We nominate David Sanger of the New York Times and his headline writer for today's Bush Bash award for this: Bush Takes a Brief Break From Relaxing to Rake in $7 Million. This is relaxing? - A speech in Dallas Friday night. A speech in Houston Saturday night and a late Sunday drive to pick up Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusoni to be entertained. The entire article is written with such sneering contempt it practically slides off the page. Clearly, letting Howell Raines go hasn't changed a thing.

-You Monday Primed LComStaff