Monday, July 08, 2002

Secondary Target: After taking a holiday breather from mangling Martha, the media cranks up again this morning on what Chris Byron, her Official Hounder, calls America's one-woman, round-the-clock, media message juggernaut. With four sunny days to mull the whole Martha Stewart career implosion, it now seems clear that the real reason she's in such deep donkey dust is that she is a Hillary clone. Think about it. The look, the arrogance, the power, this dismissive grandeur toward her detractors, the problematic ethics, the money grubbing and in many cases the same friends. The only thing they haven't hit on is her private life but that's coming. The press couldn't bring itself to turn on Hillary but Martha is a piece of cake. Watch them get it out of their systems all summer long. Here's a couple of today's installments: Chris Byron in the NYPost and Tim Burger and Emily Gest in the NYDaily News.

Compare and Contrast: Tomorrow, President Bush will head for Wall Street to tell any future book cookers and debt jugglers that people should not lie, cheat or steal, or tolerate those who do. Seems like a simple enough message but think of the hooting that would have greeted the former president speaking those same words. There is yet more to contrast the new to the old - here, the New York Times reports on the First Family's holiday weekend. No phony photo ops or "dancing on the beach." All this on a weekend where it was reported Clinton slipped away from a speech in New Zealand to "date" a local and comely TV talking blonde.

What If They Built It And No One Came? Baseball players and owners are at it again. After a year of negotiations, players meet this week to plan a strike. This could be it - the death of baseball . Someone pay attention.

Be Not Afraid: A new Iowa poll shows Bush way over Algore in a mythical rematch. Anyone who watched a rerun of one of the Gorebot's more recent speeches on C-Span this weekend could only pray the dems run this doofus again. In a close-up before his speech the camera caught him erotically massaging Tipper's back. Well, erotic for him, perhaps. No one asked Tipper how she felt. Don't ask how we felt.

Run, Al, Run: Al Sharpton distanced himself from Michael Jackson's lunatic attack on Sony Record's honcho Tommy Mottola yesterday so fast he left a grease streak all the way down 125th Street. The failed singer (so over he had to rent 100 or so loonies for the Harlem rally) who has spent hundreds of thousands to turn himself white, "surprised" Sharpton with his racist rant. Sharpton must have been equally surprised when Jackson kissed him. A sorry spectacle all 'round. Good thing the city was empty.

-Your Monday-Accepting LComStaff