Tuesday, June 25, 2002

The Joy of George: Like an icy drink on a sweltering day, W cut through the heat and hot air of the all-around failure of the Middle East to sort itself out. He kept it cool, he kept it simple. What a blessed relief. Here are David Brooks's comments on yesterday's statement. Meanwhile, predictably, the New York Times likes the talk but flips a few banana peels on the walk.

Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em, Rosie: Freshly porked up and pouncing on icons we all thought she loved, Rosie O'Donnell did a casino gig over the weekend that must have fried some liberal hair. She smacked Michael Jackson around for being a pedophile - actually saying the 'P' word and defended Monica Lewinsky right in front of Bubba's red face . Keep talking, girl, we are finally listening.

Goo-Goo-Nite, Connie: Looking and sounding so September 10th, Connie Chung rolled out her new screamingly lit and over colored CNN show last night. Wasn't she listening when Martha Stewart told us orange is not a good thing? There was something so.......so....Sally Fields about her presentation. She even said goodnight to her husband and kid. How come the guys never do that? Adam Buckman at the New York Post felt the same we did about it.

Here They Come: We mused yesterday as to the deliciously hateable folks that the tabloids would extract from under the ImClone rock and sure enough, here's the first one and it couldn't be better - he's the tongue-kissing prof from Rockefeller University who turns out to be a big ImClone player. This is going to all be such great summer fun and no one will die in the making of this scandal. Next!..........

Today's Ka-Ching Thing: Carl Bernstein, perpetually in money trouble, has a keen comeback when asked about stiffing a hireling. She pouted that he spent money at the hairdresser's rather than paying her back wages. Says Carl in a resounding defense worthy of an in depth investigator, "I know of no hair gel that costs $45."

-Your Constantly Shaded LComStaff