Monday, June 24, 2002

Boom, Bang, Crash: While some were sleeping, IDF forces drove their tanks back to Yassar's bedside in Ramallah. Blowing a hole next to his pillow wasn't message enough last week. This time they've come for his toothbrush, assuming he actually uses one.

Nut Clusters Must Wait: Over the weekend Martha Stewart's peaceful return to the kitchen was delayed yet again. Chris Byron, a serious business writer who ironically finds himself with a big Martha book out in the stores - a book, incidentally written out of his own rage with her self-dealing, explains her deepening problems.

Late Sunday Startler: Seems several cable stations jumped the gun last night and reported an arrest in the Salt Lake City case, then went silent. Here, thanks to our wide-awake and ever alert West Coast staff is about all that finally got filed.

W Disses Barney: In an inevitable piece on the presidential dogs by Elizabeth Bumiller in today's NYTimes, Bush finally tells us why Barney is not allowed in the Oval office. The Ldot mascot pees on the rug.

Terry McA, Not A Street Walker After All: A clearly desperate DNC head Terry McAullife told us a tale only he would believe, that dem operatives found an important White House computer disk "on the street." Thanks to the American Prowler we get the real story. Aren't we glad those guys are coming back with a bang with an all new and just as gutsy American Spectator.

Literary Lies: Buried deep in this update on the Clintons's book writing efforts, are some quotes from BJ comparing his "work" on his own multimillion dollar tome to Lillian Hellman's Pentimento which he claims he is reading. This is fine. We are glad to know he reads but if he had really read Hellman's work he would know that it was soundly denounced as a fraud. Then again..........maybe he did read it and he's trying to tell us something.

Ldotter Notes: Don't moan and roll your eyes just yet at further mention of the Martha Stewart story. There are hints that it is going to get huge because it will contain the names of the rich, powerful and deliciously hateable. Item: When Martha phoned her broker from her private jet to dump the stock she was with a friend who is the estranged wife of a famous surgeon. The surgeon dumped his shares of ImClone immediately. Could he have gotten a call from the jet? Item: Disgraced former CEO Sam Waksal's daughter is married to the grandson of legendary stock swindler Victor Posner. It's like that........and the tabloids are going to go ape.

-Your Looking-Forward-to-a-Hot-Week-In-More-Ways-Than-One-LComStaff