Friday, June 21, 2002

Thanks in Advance: We are thrilled that the Bush White House wants us all slim, trim and healthy. In the meantime, we also want the promise of a pre-pardon for the damage done to the side of the head of the first Southwest Airlines ticket clerk who insists a passenger must buy two seats.

Still No Smarter: The Salt Lake City child abduction case that hasn't moved off dead center in the mainstream media is in for a sudden jolt today. The National Enquirer hits the stands today with a hair curling exclusive concerning the contents of family computers scanned by the police. They report that three of the Smart brothers (Elizabeth's father among them) are part of a kinky gay coven and that all the wives are aware of it and that the computer search turned up hundreds of gay porno sites downloaded by the Smarts. How this accounts for the missing girl, enquiring minds are dying to know. You can hear the details of the Enquirer story on Lucianne's radio show at 8:00 a.m. if you can tear yourself away from our soccer dudes playing Germany in the World Cup quarter finals on ESPN at 7:30 a.m.

More Flames for the Forest Service: Michelle Malkin has an excellent column this morning on the screw-ups in the U.S. Forest Service that caused the deaths of four young firefighters. The hook for this, of course, is the fire supposedly caused by a burned love-letter supposedly written to Forest Service employee Terry Barton. (Michelle coins an apt phrase - "bungle-crats.") Meanwhile, Ms. Barton's ex-husband has claimed that he has never written her a letter.

Thanks, Ted, We Needed That: CNN's appallingly biased reporting on Israel may well have been dealt a death blow by Ted Turner's anti-Semitic remarks this week. As Ldotter Citrus Baron points out on this thread - thanks to Turner and Susan Rooks (whose confession of her addictions has gotten small mention) - "you don't have to do drugs and alcohol to work for CNN, but it helps."

Staff Opening: Lucianne.com needs a full time staff reporter/editor with a minimum of 2 years inside political experience and DC access. Investigative research a must. Ability to write HTML code necessary. This person should be available on short notice 24/7. 32K and up. Please Email resume and writing samples to webmaster@LcomHQ.com

Take a break from the garden or hammock this first weekend of summer and join your fellow Ldotters, both old and new, at our Weekend Roundtable. Igor, whose idea of a really zippy time is a fresh roll of duct tape promises it will be light hearted and amusing.

-Your Fun-Loving LComStaff