Deep Hoax: The sound of thigh slapping and high fives must have echoed from the paneled walls of Bob Woodward's Georgetown redoubt this week as he marked the thirtieth anniversary of the longest running literary hoax of our times. Meanwhile, Watergate wheezer John Dean used the occasion to push an e-book that was supposed to reveal the identity of Woodward (and Bernstein's) source, "Deep Throat." The stunt backfired. The New York Post's Steve Dunleavy took note, then walked away disgusted.

Stand Back, This Will Splash: Fighting Whitey Ann Coulter's new book is about to spray the landscape with the most delicious ad hominem attacks since "You'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again." Lloyd Grove, in the Washington Post's gossip corner seems to have glommed a copy and gives us a taste. It's all good mean-spirited fun and should have many named calling for an intimate little lynching. And here James Carville thought he had a lock on this kind of stuff.

Salt Lake Puzzler: The family of Salt Lake City abductee Elizabeth Smart might want to consider a new public relations team because their current people are messing up big time. Here's yet another confusing report from the police and it clearly won't be the last.

Sensitive Shoe Bomber: Is anyone else chortling over testimony that a little Valium completely addled Richard Ried, the wanna-be killer with the funky feet? Anyone who has ever dropped a little blue soother before a nervous-making plane ride knows it does nothing of the kind. Nice try, but no new laces.

Attention Soccer Newbies: It may be unfair, this sudden interest in American soccer, but that's the way life works. If you want to start rooting for our team here's a brief rundown on who's who. The telling game is 7:30 a.m. Friday morning. (Chick note: Male soccer players have the best looking legs in sports.)

Today's Ka-Ching Thing: Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld spent $60,000 on accounting fees to tell the government that he is worth $90 million and he's not happy about all the paper work entailed. Too bad, but we like him and we're glad he's spit rich. Better him than some.

Deconstructing Martha: Rocky times for Martha Stewart continue as she faxes more info down to congress and watches stock in her own company begin to skid. Here's a Wall St. Journal/MSNBC piece on the details of her empire. What it all seems to come down to is that people just don't like her. Too bad it has to be that simple.

-Your Understanding LComStaff