Maalox Midnight: More than 100 Israeli defense force tanks roared into Ramallah again last night. Israeli officials say they are trying to keep the bad guys from running in rather than the other way around. Either way, it's got to be enough to keep a fella awake.

What Next, Jimmy Hoffa? Searching Rock Creek Park is turning out to be the D.C. Police's biggest embarrassment since they had to confiscate the former Mayor's crack pipe. Turning up now is a bundle of marked bills presumably from a bank robbery.

No Movement: The Salt Lake City case of missing and presumed abducted Elizabeth Smart didn't move an inch over the weekend. Her father's weekend appearance on Fox was confusing. He said his 9-year-old daughter who witnessed the abduction had been with relatives ever since and that he had not seen her but she was doing fine.

Duped Again: No matter how many times Harlem residents were told that Clinton's arrival in their midst would not be helpful. they refused to believe it. Now, even though he's hardly ever there, the dire predictions are coming true. The New York Post follows up.

Let George Do It: While your average Joe and Jane Viewer stifles yawns over former spin doctor George Stephanopoulos' coronation as ABC's newest talking head, William Kovach, chairman of the Committee of Concerned Journalists in Washington called his elevation "disappointing." We call it worse than that. George could make up for it by doing a debut package on how he smeared and attempted to destroy FBI Agent Gary Aldrich on the very show he will now helm. One thing we have around here is an unforgiving memory of the last ten years.

Moishe The Gunslinger: Residents of Brooklyn's heavily orthodox neighborhoods aren't fooling around. Armed with "shotguns in bags", along with people licensed to own and carry other types of firearms. Others will carry bats, pipes, cell phones and walkie-talkies and will patrol the streets daily except on the Sabbath. That ought to do it.

-Your Monday-Ready LComStaff