How Hot Would Jesus Be? Andrew Sullivan, writing for OpinionJournalOnline this morning is first out with a brilliant analysis of the Tina Brown-Out of the pop culture of the nineties and the subsequent floppola of Talk Magazine. (To paraphrase) He relates being asked, when she was at the New Yorker, to write her something about religious. "Like what?" he asked, bewildered. "Oh, anything that's hot." His take on that attitude is dazzling.

Barney Walks! We have had a lot of fun on this site at Barney, the White House Scottie's, expense implying that he has cleverly faked either an old football injury or just plain shortness of leg in order to get the first couple to carry him everywhere. Last night, on NBC's quite charming look at the behind-the-scenes White House, Barney was shown not only walking but zipping around. There are still those who say that was a stunt double but we believe. Sorry, Barney. Hop up here and tell us all about it.

Ari Fleischer, Jewish Saint: Anyone who missed the White House press gaggle yesterday missed seeing a man who must have spent his college summers working in a nursing home. Ari Fleischer's controlled tolerance of yet another Helen Thomas pro Palestinian screech was an example of good-boydom above and beyond the call. The mystery is why she is permitted to hog a front row seat when she no longer takes steno for UPI. The throwaway job she does for Hearst hardly justifies being at all White House press conferences. They could move Nora O'Donnell up four rows and really brighten up the place.

We Interrupt Your Day To Make You Angry: The member of the gang of old Hassid fraudsters who fled to Israel pleaded guilty in New York court yesterday. He could have saved himself the trip. While he was away Bill Clinton pardoned his pals. This is Hillary's little votes-for-pardons scam that is still stinking up New York and presumably her smug little world.

News Lite: Scanning the web this morning produces a whiff of second day staleness to most stories: Enron, Gitmo, Johnny The Taliban Kid, but Felicity Barringer at the New York Times (oh, go ahead and register, it won't kill you) has a fascinating backgrounder on the reporter in Kabul who found amazing secrets on a used hard drive.

There are two O.J. stories concerning his non-missing girlfriend and her dead cat that leads us to totally speculate. Girl tells O.J. she got a new guy. O.J. goes to her house, ransacks it in a jealous, drug-sopping rage. She leaves half-packed suitcases behind and flees in terror. Before he leaves he does a Nicole on her cat just to make his point. How do we know this? When you leave one guy for another you don't abandon half-packed bags.

End Note: We had such a response to our eating the same breakfast as the Gitmo Taliban we thought we'd try it again this morning: Corn flakes, milk, orange juice, white toast with butter, a banana and water.

-Your Eating-Like-Prisoners and Getting Fat LComStaff