Taliban's Club Fed:: The AP sent a reporter to Gitmo Bay yesterday to check up on the prisoners there. Here's what they were having for breakfast: milk, a New York-style bagel with cream cheese and butter, a boiled egg, fruit and water. These terrorists who killed our CIA agents, shot at us, bite when given the chance and mumble that they will kill guards, also receive, according to Secretary Rumsfeld, ``warm showers, toiletries, water, clean clothes, blankets, regular, culturally appropriate meals, prayer mats and the right to practice their religion.'' Can we not hear anymore whining from the leftist fabricating Brit press?

Freak Show: The Guardian's coverage of psychopath Mike Tyson's shameful live performance at a press conference yesterday has by far the most colorful language. Tyson needs years of mental help . The people who exploit this sorry specimen and treat him like a moneymaking monkey should go to jail.

Pay Dirt: A senior al Qaeda official captured by U.S. forces in Afghanistan has informed them about a plot to blow up the U.S. embassy in Yemen. He did this during an interrogation at the U.S. military base in Kandahar and the information likely saved dozens of American lives. Oh, goodness, you don't suppose they hit the poor man, do you?

Saintly Patience: Anyone watching Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumfeld's one hour plus press conference knows the man deserves a medal. His tolerance for air-heads is remarkable. His expression when one thirty-something female whimpered that the murdering thugs at Gitmo Bay didn't have air conditioning was priceless. Here's the New York Times coverage.

They Are Doing What!? Yesterday, the New York Times reported that 40 impatient Afghan detainees (not prisoners, please note) in Australia were protesting their situation by sewing their mouths shut! Subsequent stories today give even larger numbers and mention this weird practice as well with no further explanation. Sewing their mouths shut!? How does that work? What does that do? Why?

Legacy Builders Out Of The Slam: The New York Daily News reports that the men who stole millions from the government, leaned on their flock to vote for Hillary, received a pardon from Bill and haven't repaid one dime of what they stole, are homeward bound today. Maybe they are waiting to make restitution after they see Hillary give back her Enron money and her brothers return their pardon fees. One more brick in the Legacy Wall of Shame.

End Note: Here's what your LComStaff had for our culturally appropriate breakfast: milk, a real New York (not "New York-style") bagel with cream cheese and butter, a boiled egg, fruit and water. Guess that means the Red Cross and the London Daily Mirror are on their way to save us.

-Your Adequately Cared for LComStaff