Brits Go Barking Mad: The British papers that screamed "Torture!" and "Inhumanity!" in the last few days seemed to have calmed down after inspection teams and the media took a look around Camp X-ray and found no such thing. The lefty Daily Mirror tabloid was the most disgusting with comments like: "These prisoners are trapped in open cages, manacled hand and foot, brutalized, tortured, and humiliated," T. R. Reid's report in the Washington Post shows it was all a lie.

An Alec Baldwin with Depends: Let's send the Brits Robert Altman permanently. He's on record as saying that would make him happy. So go, man, go. Anyone who watched his behavior at the Golden Globes would note that a trip to the dryout tank before he leaves might be a sterling idea.

Clinton's Peronie Symmetry: Clinton's recent speech in Israel didn't exactly wow the locals. The Jerusalem Post editorial writers call his recent presidency "dangerous for Israel." The same paper took a poll over the weekend asking, "When he was President, was Bill Clinton a better friend to Israel than George Bush is today? Yes: 18% No: 82% Total Votes: 10,742. And, not wanting to be too - ahhh - lopsided about it, here's what the Arab News has to say about his position .

Gary Gets The Message: Saying recently during his campaign: "The voters should be the ones to decide who gets elected, not people who live outside the district," Gary Condit seems to be whistling through a dark campaign and finding out how the insiders feel. Rene Sanchez in the Washington Post takes a look at Condit's reelection flop sweat.

Bernie Goldberg, Call Your Agent: Maggie Gallagher's informative piece this morning should be clipped and put on Bernie Goldberg's desk. Now that his book Bias has reached No. 1 on the New York Times Best Seller List (and will remain there next week) this should be his next assignment

End Note: The definition of Enron, the Scandal That Wouldn't Start: Condit without the sex.

- Your Ever Vigilant LComStaff