Teegeeack To Greta, Teegeeack to Greta: (For those of you unfamiliar with Scientology-speak, Teegeeack is their word for Earth.) We are trying to get a signal through to Ken Starr Basher, Clinton True Believer Greta Van Susteren as she packs her bags to move to Fox. Fox fans aren't going to like having her there. Igor dug deep into our trusty archives and found an article in the St. Petersburg Times that may tell you why. She says the move isn't about money. Our sources tell us that's right. It's about knowing one's contract wouldn't be renewed.

A Bit Late But Good To Hear: This morning the Washington Post has an affecting article by a Muslim woman, Mona Eltahawy, who writes what Muslims should have written, said, proclaimed and shouted three months ago. There needs to be a lot more of this kind of reasoned thinking coming from the Muslim American community.

Remembrance: With great sadness we bid farewell to Julia Phillips, Hollywood rebel, writer, producer and amazing lady. Fun, feisty and allergic to BS Julia cut a swath through Tinsel Town like no one else in our time. We won't see her likes again. Bye, kiddo - you were the best.

Charming Schmarming: The gang at Fox and Friends gave Geraldo a half hour to cover his backpack this morning. He explained his extremely odd "Friendly Fire" report by saying he thought the two incidents (three days apart) were one and the same. Huh? He also said CNN and Aaron Brown should be ashamed of themselves for picking on him. They announced that he would take phone calls. He took one. Let's put it this way. His homecoming explanation needs more work. Don't you love the Cable Wars? These people are becoming larger than the news itself.

Have Gun, Going To See the President: Christopher Caldwell in the Weekly Standard fleshes out the story behind the story of the bumped Secret Service man on Christmas Day. Looks like the airlines had a point. Maybe that's why we haven't heard another word about the incident.

W's New House: Thanks to our Southwestern Ldotters for explaining the architecture of the Bushes new ranch house. Seems that's the way they are built. We Yankee City Slickers don't understand a building without an elevator in it.

-- Your Up and Down LComStaff